Friends of Dave #127: There is No Playbook
That moment when your second child graduates from high school....
Friends, it is hard for me to believe that I have been producing this newsletter long enough now that I find myself writing about the second of our offspring reaching high school graduate status.
Long time readers may recall reading my preamble from the first time around when our daughter left the nest a few years ago -- which, for the die hard preamble fans and those that are interested, can be found HERE in case you missed it.
It is now our oldest son's turn -- as you read this, barring any last minute theatrics, he is a newly minted graduate. We had the opportunity to grab lunch at Chipotle recently and share some rare one-on-one time with each other. It was interesting catching up and having a fairly adult discussion about his experiences and what this all meant.
We talked about how eager he was to get to the next phase of his life and to meet new people and learn new things. He has always exhibited a curiosity about what the world at large has to offer, and he is both nervous and excited to venture out, expand his horizons, and absorb everything.
He then asked me about how it felt to be a parent preparing for their son to soon leave the friendly (okay, he is still a teenager, so it can sometimes be a bit contentious) confines of home. As I generally tend to be, I was radically candid: even though his mother and I are really proud of him and excited for him, it is still scary as hell for me. I think he was a little taken aback by my initial response.
I quickly reassured him that this doesn't mean that I don't think he can handle it or that he won't succeed. On the contrary -- I believe he is definitely ready to take this next step in his journey and growth. But, because he is probably the most idealistic of my children, I felt that I should caution him to remember that life has no playbook.
No matter how much you seem to think you have things figured out (and when you are 18, you think you have a lot of things already figured out), life always finds ways to put us in situations that are not in the scripts we write in our minds. I told him it's how we handle ourselves in those moments that help define us. Do you freeze or freak out? Do you stay calm? Do you make an impulsive, hasty move? Or do use all that you have learned along the way and have the confidence to make an informed, but likely imperfect decision and deal with whatever the consequences may be?
I shared that, when I was his age, I didn't fully appreciate this. I honestly believed that if I prepared, studied, listened, observed and thought things through enough, it would always be obvious what the right play to call would be. I thought I would be able to eliminate ambiguity from my life. I told him that, looking back and reflecting on what I know now, I was wrong. And I shared that I worry that I may not have done enough to prepare him for those moments when he realizes that there is no playbook and he has to call an audible.
My son sat there for a moment, pensively looking at his Chipotle burrito and chewing on the knowledge I had just dropped on him. I could tell this father-son bonding and my showing vulnerability was really having a profound impact. After a long pause, my son looked me in the eye and said, "Dad, sorry, can I just say that I am totally not feeling this burrito today? You know, I'm thinking we probably should have called an audible and just gone to Panera instead." How many days until he leaves again???
Selected some good articles this week for you -- hope you have some time to check them out. Have a great one!
XOXO
Dave
Think on These...
Resonance: How to Open Doors For Other People
To resonate with others, we need to connect when it matters. This nurtures both us and others, and also earns trust. Just as in cooking, timing is everything.
Opening doors for other people is a critical concept to understand in life.
What Kind of Happiness Do People Value Most?
There is a difference between experiencing happiness and remembering it.
A Few For Your Day Job...
Frigid Offices Might Be Killing Women’s Productivity As their goosebumps have long suggested, women perform better on tests of cognitive function at toastier room temperatures.
Why Sales Reps Need Executive Alignment (And How To Get There)
Executive alignment is the process of working directly with decision makers to match project outcomes with their business objectives. Read this to understand its importance in a sales process and how to tactfully achieve it.
B2B Success in the Digital Age Means Updating Your Sales Strategies and Delivering On CX
Nine out of ten customers say they’ll buy from another supplier if they can’t use digital tools to research and purchase what they’re looking for. Three-quarters of those buyers say they’ll choose another vendor even if it costs them more. B2B decision making isn’t about price anymore. Instead, it’s about the end-to-end purchasing experience.
In his op-ed, David K. Harrelson, VP and Customer Experience GTM Leader, Capgemini, explains why digital transformation requires that enterprises deliver a process with a significant emphasis on customer experience.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
INFOGRAPHIC: The Visual Meaning Behind 24 of the World's Most Iconic Flags — www.visualcapitalist.com Many world flags are instantly recognizable, but there's more to it than meets the eye. What are the stories behind some of the world's most iconic flags?
Justin Bieber is launching a “self-care” deodorant with Schmidt’s
Proposed tag line: Because when you think body odor, you think Justin Bieber....
Massachusetts man says someone broke into his home ... and cleaned it
In an alternate universe, this headline would have read: "Florida man says someone broke into his home....and ate his furniture."
61 National Parks in America Ranked
Curiously, Jellystone and Jurassic have been omitted from this list....jokes aside, could be useful for those of you planning a summer road trip.
And The Last Word....
Why Are Commencement and Graduation Ceremonies So Long? — www.theatlantic.com
Members of the audience care about their loved one’s brief moment of glory—and no one else’s. So why, in this day and age, are we still being asked to keep our attention to what amounts to someone reading a phone book?
BONUS LAST WORD: I know there a ton of commencement speeches out there in written and video form, but I found this recent one delivered by VC Mark Suster (whose writing style I always appreciate) to be fairly useful. If you like these sort of things, click here to read the transcript.