Friends of Dave #143: Just Move Forward
Words of wisdom from a 3rd grader: don't dwell on the past. Just move forward.
It always amazes me how themes for the preamble each week can often originate from a bunch of unrelated threads that converge. This week was no exception.
With school in full swing, our newly minted 3rd grader has found himself back in all of his glory: recess is easily his favorite time of the day. Not only does this sports loving kid get to blow off some steam, but he and his friends use Fall to play intense games of soccer on the playground.
As many longtime Friends know, winning isn't everything with him, but losing is a huge pet peeve. This most definitely holds true at recess, where it sounds like schoolyard smack talk amongst the tween boys set accompanies each crucial match.
So it did not come as a complete shock to us when we received an email from the school guidance counselor about an "incident" involving our son during a recent recess session. Apparently our little Pelé, per his account, was driving in for the winning score just before the buzzer sounded when he was tripped by another player, "on purpose."
With no refs (or recess monitors) in close proximity, words between the two young gladiators quickly escalated into shouting which quickly escalated into shoving. According to the email from school, our son was the primary instigator.
Now, it did not sound like this warranted a big investigation -- the school was just giving a heads up about what occurred. And the note did point out that, once tempers calmed, our son expressed remorse for his participation. He explained to the teacher that he got worked up and in the heat of the moment his emotions got the best of him.
That evening, my wife and I discussed what transpired with our son -- he again took ownership and accountability. We then suggested that perhaps he could write a brief note to the other boy, expressing that he was sorry for what happened. He calmly responded by saying:
"I already told the teachers I was sorry and I told The Kid I was sorry. I don't want to focus on the past. I just want to move forward...Can we just move forward?"
He was right. By all accounts this seemed to be a simple blip on the radar and had been handled. He made a mistake, took responsibility, made amends and understands how he can modify his behavior to avoid future problems. Why make it bigger than it was (and make him feel worse in the process)?
Doesn't this happen to all of us from time to time? Plans go awry (maybe it is a deal we lose, or a bad hire, or a meeting that does not go as expected) and we then analyze and over analyze what happened. Maybe I could have done this, or someone should have said that...We keep replaying what we did wrong, beating ourselves up in the process or looking for someone or something to blame for the failure.
Why waste a lot of energy pointing fingers or trying to fix the past instead of accepting it and implementing a plan to improve the future? Instead, when life trips us up just when we are going for the winning score, we should heed the advice of a 3rd grader and just move forward.
Last weekend of summer everyone -- make it a good one....and in an ironic twist to the theme of this intro, it's just a few weeks until we change the clocks and fall back....until then, round up your support clowns and get to the articles!
XOXO
Dave
Listen Up!
PODCAST: Peace, Love and Relationships
I know, not a big podcast crowd here, but I thought I would share this one as it features some great insights on relationships, empathy and vulnerability from personal friend Bill O'Herron. Bill is a super high energy guy -- so much so that listening at 1.5x speed might make you dizzy...but this is well worth the time.
Think on This...
The Office: An In-Depth Analysis of Workplace User Behavior
A close, interactive, multi-article look at how we love and hate to go to work. With titles like "Women Poop. Sometimes At Work. Get Over It" and "The Awkward but Essential Art of Office Chitchat," there is some entertaining stuff here if you have some time to click through it.
A Few For Your Day Job...
How to motivate employees? Don't.
Good piece highlighting 6 ways to motivate a team and not kill the intrinsic employee motivation that they already have.
Why Visuals Are the Most Powerful Way to Sell Anything
When you’re next making a claim, any claim, think about the most vivid image that conveys what you’re trying to get across. Comb your mission and objective statements for theoreticals and transform them into tangibles.
Telling customers that you believe in something or are committed to something is almost useless without clear visuals to back it up.
Why buying and selling a house could soon be as simple as trading stocks Artificial intelligence in housing won’t just eliminate Realtors. It could completely change the way we buy, sell and live.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
Drinks White Claw and Wears a Fleece Vest? He Might Just Be Trolling Wall Street on Instagram
Friends, if you are looking for legit corporate/work humor and snark, Instagram is rapidly supplanting Twitter as source this. In addition to those accounts mentioned here, check out @cbinsights and @linkedinflex (worth connecting to see the private posts and comments that follow them).
Meet the "artisanal" toilet paper startups taking on Big Tissue
No joke: “farm to bathroom” toilet rolls are now a thing.....
Backstory: Why we say the word 'OK'
Am I being greedy to now want to know the backstory on "okey dokey" too?
And The Last Word....
Man being fired brings emotional support clown to meeting — nypost.com
You've heard of the idea of a therapy dog? A New Zealand man facing the ax at work brought an emotional support clown to his recent redundancy meeting so the $200 performer could provide comedic relief as his bosses fired him....