Friends of Dave #149: You Should Read This One
Must....avoid...turning into...this super hero.....
Psst....Friends, I have something to tell you: you have been walking around all of these years with a super power. It's the power of hindsight.
Able to see things with 20/20 clarity just after experiencing any stressful or difficult situation, yes a mere mortal like you can summon this super power by simply uttering words like "shoulda," "coulda," "woulda," or "if only."
By doing so, you are able to envision and articulate to others the ideal outcome of any situation in the past had things occurred in a perfect world or if there was access to a time machine (which, unfortunately, the power of hindsight does not yet provide). Unbelievable, right? !?
By unlocking this power, you are able to convince yourself that you are helping fellow citizens by pointing out the errors in their ways, how they might have been able to avoid disappointing others, or how a result should have/could have/would have been different if they only reacted in a certain manner.
Amazingly, this is not all, true believers. With a little mastery, the power of hindsight can also be reversed and can turn into the mighty power of foresight, allowing you to project a vision of perfect future outcomes! In order to enable this is, repeatedly invoke how things "should" be or tell people "you need to." It is THAT SIMPLE, Friends!
Before you go out, get a Captain Hindsight super suit and apply to become the next Avenger or member of the Justice League or something, please also know this: on Earth this super power is usually not helpful and is actually completely useless. There is also a troubling side effect to it. Not only will you annoy people around you if you use it on them at the wrong time or in the wrong way, but by trying it on yourself, it can actually become debilitating -- like your own version of kryptonite.
Snark aside, we've all become Captain Hindsight at one point, right? "You shoulda really done it this way" or "I told you so, you coulda done this" or "I woulda been more successful if only I did that."
We've all also reversed it and tried to project how an outcome ideally "should" look. "At this point in my life I should have this job title" or "What you really need to do is take this approach" or "This is the way it should be."
By doing so we end up distorting reality and imposing expectations (often unrealistic expectations) that might not likely ever be met. And that can often create feelings of shame and guilt in those on the receiving end -- especially when we put these expectations on ourselves.
Keep yourself and those around you on track -- don't fall into the trap and use the words that transform you into Captain Hindsight, Friends. Despite how it may initially make you feel, it really is not a super power. Of course, learning from past mistakes or experience is one thing. But resist the urge to overanalyze how things might have gone differently under ideal conditions -- you don't have a time machine. Take a moment to course correct (or constructively help people around you figure out how to course correct) and then just move forward.
And when it comes to looking ahead, try to hold on loosely to the ideal you have in your mind -- use it as a guide, not the absolute. Remember to be flexible, patient and understanding with others, but most importantly, yourself. After all, despite what you think "should" is -- whether it be a career journey, a compensation goal, the right path to close a deal or simply your ideal way of life -- it is not real. What is real is what is in front of you right now, and what you do about it today.
Time to turn the clocks back tonight, Friends. Good news: you now have an extra hour to read the articles below. Have a great weekend!
XOXO
Dave
Think on These...
How the Word “Should” Can be Harmful and 3 Empowering Alternatives Removing the word "should" from your vocabulary will take time, patience, and practice. But it is possible, and it comes with great rewards.
How did being happy become a matter of relentless competitive work?
A person living in a Western culture is about four to 10 times more likely to develop clinical depression or anxiety than a person in an Eastern culture...In China and Japan,..people tend to view positive and negative emotions as essential and equal; happiness, in the East, should not be actively pursued, just as sadness should not be actively avoided.
Asks the question: "What if happiness was something that we realized ebbs and flows, that negativity is fundamental to life and, ironically, to our happiness? "
A Few For Your Day Job...
Good quick read about implementing a winning, accepting culture. Seems so obvious, but so many companies do not do take these simple steps.
7 Ways How Artificial Intelligence Will Change Your Workplace
The workplace will definitely look radically different in the future. I know there seems to be a lot of these articles floating around, but I found this provided a good framework on how to think about the impact of automation. Remember, adapt now or become redundant.
Why Your Stupid Cold Emailing Campaign Is Making You No Money
If you must do cold email, then treat it like a conversation.
Sales and marketing friends: this one is for you. Learn it, know it, live it.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
Curiously not on the list: my 15 year old son's bedroom and Cleveland....
Inside Yandy, the company that brought you the sexy nurse, sexy witch and sexy Mr. Rogers costumes
Brings new meaning to "Please won't you be my neighbor?"
'Scientific evidence' proves mullet makes rugby player run faster
"I'm not getting rid of the mullet," Goodhue told reporters ahead of their Rugby World Cup quarter-final with Ireland at Tokyo Stadium tonight. "You can ask this every week but it's not going."
All you need is mud: Japan’s new spin on rugby
FACT: I'd watch Japanese mud rugby if they required everyone to have mullets...
And The Last Word....
Social Media Has Not Destroyed a Generation — www.scientificamerican.com
In the 1980s people were wringing their hands about the time kids spent staring mindlessly at television screens...imagine asking those worrywarts about new technologies that would allow kids to instead interact with one another by sharing messages, photographs and videos. “Anybody then would have said, ‘Wow, that would be amazing.’”
Interesting, fact based counter point to the long held belief that smartphones and social media are ruining communication and poisoning the minds of today's youth. Longer read, but good food for thought if you have the time.