Friends of Dave #159: Breaking The Fourth Wall
Don't let your inner monologue become your Fourth Wall.
Great hearing from many of you following last week's 20 questions edition. Still on the look out for some good Instant Pot recipes, so if you have them, please send the winners my way!
I had separate conversations throughout this week that reminded me about the perils of what can happen when we listen too closely to those voices we periodically have running in our own heads -- aka our inner monologues.
Look, we all have times where we doubt or second guess ourselves. Whether it is in a personal relationship or in a business situation, our interpretation of what is happening can vary based on our moods, our state of mind or our own insecurities at any given time.
When we are feeling comfortable and confident, we are patient and trust what is unfolding in front of us for what it is. What we see is what we get.
But when we don't feel good about a series of events or we feel out of control in a situation, that's when we can start to over think.....and when we over think, we detach from what is happening in front of us and begin to develop our own narratives in our heads.
By paying too close attention to this inner monologue, that's when we put up a wall between us and reality. This usually creates disconnection and distortion that can make things more complicated and derail us. The more we listen to the self talk, the more we become distant from the facts.
This can kill deals. This can disrupt progress. This can damage relationships. This can create unnecessary obstacles that lead to setbacks. This can create fear when there is no danger.
The best thing we can do when the voices in our head get a little too loud? Take a deep breath and find a way to reconnect with what is happening in front of us. Review the facts, trust what we see and accept it at face value. Remind ourselves to be patient and keep things simple. Refocus on the things things that we can control and not the things we can't.
Finally, and most importantly, we need to give ourselves the strength and courage to break the wall that we have created. While we may believe it is protecting us, we need to remember that it is likely the biggest thing that is distancing us from others and ultimately keeping us from the success that we deserve.
Quick heads up on three things to make sure you catch:
READ (especially the marketing Friends): As I mentioned last week, the Tedium blog is phenomenal. This week there is a fascinating deep dive into how Heartland Music dusted off old recording artists and revitalized their sales. It's long, but will both get you thinking and get your creative juices going.
WATCH: Two different viewing experiences -- Don't F**k With Cats is a "true crime" documentary series on Netflix that will leave you shaking your head at so many things regarding online personas and social media. The actual crimes committed were pretty disturbing as well. Total train wreck from start to finish....but you will be hooked.
Also, perhaps we are late to the party on this, but after seeing both the comedy series and lead actress win on the Golden Globes, we decided to binge both seasons of Fleabag on Amazon Prime this week.
If you like clever writing, intricate character development and raunchy, witty British humor, block out time and check it out. Really good and, with only twelve 30 min episodes across both seasons, it requires minimal time commitment. Absolutely worth it -- and if you do watch you will see it absolutely fits with the title of this week's edition as well.
And with that, on to the links this week. Mostly quick reads -- enjoy!
XOXO
Dave
Think on This...
Challenging Our Gendered Idea of Mentorship
Yes, we need men to sponsor and help advance women, and we need women to do the same for one another. But it’s time we tell more stories of women leaders developing, supporting, and advancing men in unexpected and powerful ways, too.
This is an important read. I've been very fortunate to have had some great mentors throughout my career. Perhaps my most valued from an executive development perspective was Penny Herscher. I am a much more well rounded, empathetic, inclusive and collaborative leader because she took the time to teach me areas where diverse teams can be stronger.
A Few For Your Day Job...
Good quick read highlighting the importance of adaptability in order to ensure continued success.
The Army Has Introduced a New Leadership Value. Here's Why It Matters
Humility, as it turns out, is not a vulnerability.
The Army's new talent management system is an excellent example of how one change can impact almost every goal. ICYMI, this is a good follow up to the humility preamble from a few weeks back.
If you know me, you know I talk a lot about the importance of urgency when growing a business. For those looking for some inspiration, here's a great running list of business accomplishments that were completed in a short period of time.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
If this is the sort of thing you think about in the shower or driving or in the grocery check out line, then it is the thread is for you...and just like that, your weekend is shot...
They think that is hard? Wait until junior needs to be potty trained.....
Man Whose Employer Gave Out BBQ Sauce For Holiday Gift Gets Fired For Spicy Tweet
Key to this story: he was a Canadian working for a US company....all of this sounds about right....
And The Last Word....
How Classic Rock Found New Life in the 2010s — www.rollingstone.com
FACT: The Rolling Stones will probably be doing live performances well into their 100s....and people will absolutely be paying to see them.