Friends of Dave #212: bye, caillou
Don't be a scrub. Be a connector.
What a week, right? I mean, 2020 seems like your crazy old ex-boyfriend/girlfriend that just won't take the hint....they keep calling, texting, hangin' out the passenger side of their best friend's ride tryin' to holler at me..... I don't want no scrubs, 2020. You're a year that can't go no love from me....
So as we turn the page 2021, I have been reminded a few times over the past few weeks that it is probably also a good idea not to be a scrub in your professional life either.
Oh, pray tell, what do you mean by this, Dave?
Let's extrapolate from a few modified lyrics from the late 90's TLC empowerment anthem invoked above:
A scrub is a guy (or gal) that thinks he/him or she/her is kind of fly
They're also known as a Busta
Always talkin' about what they want from your network
While they just sit on their broke ass.
So no, I don't want your connection request.
No, I don't want you to "pick my brain" and
No, I don't want to meet for virtual coffee (No, no)
No, I don't want none of your time....
You know the people I am talking about? The ones that reach out and say they are "interested in connecting with interesting people" or "we're both salespeople/marketers/developers and it would be good to network" and don't offer anything else of value?
Their game is kind of weak, and frankly Friends, you can't get with their deadbeat ass.
I want to tell them "don't be a scrub" (which I guess I am doing now in this preamble). You really want to be a connector.
If you are a regular reader, you know we talk about connecting a lot here. Connectors are the anti-scrubs.
They understand that everyone is busy. They are the ones that go out of their way to find common ground or common interests BEFORE requesting time with someone.
Connectors make conversations interesting and valuable for both parties. Instead of asking if there is anything they can do for you, they actually DO SOMETHING FOR YOU.
They check-in with people in their network with no agenda other than to see how the other person is doing. And they stay regularly engaged with their network -- not just when they need something.
Sure, being a connector takes work, but people value connectors. And in return, the smart people reward the time, thought, and effort that connectors put into connecting.
So you want to be a better connector in 2021 and beyond? Do yourself a favor and remember this preamble. Don't be a scrub. A scrub is a guy/gal that gets no love from people.
Know a scrub? Do them (and me) a favor and forward them this newsletter. That not only helps them stop being a Busta, it makes you a BETTER CONNECTOR. And that will get a lot of love from me!
Good stuff in the linkies (as FoD Eli London likes to call them in his consistently entertaining weekly) -- highly recommend. And, if you have not done so already, stream Cobra Kai Season 3 on Netflix this weekend. We've talked about it here before -- while not as good as Seasons 1 & 2, you will still be entertained. Johnny Lawrence is the redemption story 2021 needs.
XOXO
Dave
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