Friends of Dave #242: pig rules
Want Solutions? Tell People The 'Why'.
Anyone familiar with this scenario?
Parent to Kid: I want you to clean your room this afternoon.
Kid to Parent: Why?
Parent to Kid: Because I said so, that is why.....just do it.
Let's be honest -- there is a good chance that most of you have likely played both roles at one time or another in your life.
When you were the kid, you hated when your parents said that. But then you grew up and realized how effective this can be in some situations to shut down potential whining and negotiations when you just want a task completed.
This type of management actually has a name: it's called "command and control."
As the name implies, it is all based on hierarchy and power -- the person in command is supposed to do the thinking and the person under their control is supposed to complete the task as told.
This can be effective when you are under a tight deadline or the primary objective is to complete a well defined task in a very specific time frame (or, as many of you know, when you have an overly argumentative kid). It gives the commander the ability to feel like they have complete control of the outcome. But the person completing the task? They feel like that are just a tool to get it done -- that is all.
Most of the time, particularly on teams and in business, we know that tasks are not simple or tightly defined. And if you are trying to achieve a goal, you usually have more problems to solve than tasks to complete. You need everyone aligned and to be stakeholders in the outcome in order to be successful.
This is where the "why" is so important.
People generally want to know the "why" so that they can also have a sense of ownership over the outcome. They want to help solve problems. They want to feel like they are an important part of the team and take pride in the success.
Good leaders understand this. In many ways it's what separates leaders from managers. They trust the people they are leading by freely sharing with them context when presenting a problem that needs to be solved because they understand that the outcome has the potential to be better for everyone if they do so.
Tasks are tactical. Solutions are strategic. Completion of tasks may give leaders what they think they want, but solutions have the ability to give them what they and the team ultimately need.
Show me someone who routinely expects solutions without providing context to those they are supposed to be leading, and I will show you a frustrated manager with a long to-do list that never gets done.
But show me someone who has a team that consistently exceeds expectations, I will show you a leader that goes out of their way to be transparent, provide context to those around them and proactively share the "why." They know that by simply doing this is where the magic can happen.
Now, since we are Friends, I'm going to level with you -- I was going to try to wrap this up by sharing a revision of the opening scenario where the parent provided the "why" (something contrived about a fun dinner with company that week) and the kid not only offered to clean their room, but also happily offered to help clean elsewhere.
Anyone who has kids knows, this would have been complete BS....
No matter how much "why" you give, we all know that "because I said so" is where this would have ultimately landed.....it always does....
Some good reads for you this week (particularly the "Last Word") -- I want you to take some time to check them out....why? Because I said so. :)
XOXO
Dave
Think on This...
Brains Might Sync As People Interact — and That Could Upend Consciousness Research
"When we become aware that ‘we’ are sharing a moment with someone else, it is no longer necessarily the case that we are fundamentally separated by our distinct heads — we could really be be two individuals sharing in one and the same unfolding experience.”
When we cooperate on certain tasks, our brainwaves might synchronize. This finding could upend the current understanding of consciousness.
For Your Day Job...
The 25 Micro-Habits of High-Impact Managers
Compiled by VC firm First Round, here are small habits that great managers do, including delivering feedback with care, opening up about failure, and sending praise up the chain.
“We’re Not Allowed to Hang Up”: The Harsh Reality of Working in Customer Service
I had one woman tell me, ‘I hope you have a miserable day.’ You can’t laugh. I can’t laugh. I’m thinking to myself, ‘You ordered the Bible.'
In their own voices, seven customer service representatives reveal what it’s like being caught between abusive callers and demanding employers.
The Science of Strong Business Writing Strong writing skills are essential for anyone in business. You need them to effectively communicate with colleagues, employees, and bosses and to sell any ideas, products, or services you’re offering.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
Dirt Wars: The Battle to Save the Soil — www.kornferry.com The sustainability movement has moved to a new arena: farmland. How parking the plow may help save the world.
Bacon may disappear in California as pig rules take effect
To paraphrase the movie Braveheart...they may take our pigs, but they can't take away our bacon!
The next great Olympic sport? It could be cornhole
In related news.....reports of people loudly shouting "WTF?" and throwing brooms in disgust at a curling center in Manitoba remain unconfirmed....
New England Is Crisscrossed With Thousands of Miles of Stone Walls That's enough to circle the globe—four times.
And The Last Word....
American Shoppers Are a Nightmare — www.theatlantic.com
It was into this house of cards that the pandemic crash-landed, and the collateral damage has largely been to the lives of workers. Americans were confronted with how little control they actually have over so many parts of life that normally feature the illusion of personal choice—health, government, safety, technology, travel.
Customers were awful long before the pandemic, but the sense of restrictions everyone has felt has put everyone on edge. This is a longer read, but an interesting perspective. Be nice to the retail workers.
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