Friends of Dave #252: no risk it, no biscuit
Sometimes you just gotta close your eyes and jump.
My wife and I recently enjoyed an impromptu weeknight dinner, coincidentally just a few blocks from where we had our first date almost decades ago, when she made a seemingly random comment out of the blue on our walk back to our car.
"You know, I really like living here." It was music to my ears.
Four years ago we had made a difficult decision to move our family from the community outside of New York City where we had set roots for over 20 years, back to the Boston area where we had both gone to school.
My own family had moved around a few times when I was growing up due to my father's job, so it was not so foreign to me when we first broached the topic. But my wife's parents still lived in her childhood home -- this is was not something she knew. And certainly, aside from moving from a townhouse to a bigger house right after our second child was born, it was not something our kids ever really experienced themselves.
So it was a big risk. And there was a lot riding on it. And it was scary.
There were many factors about which we discussed, considered, argued and agonized. We put together the list of all of the short term and long term pros and cons that came along with making this life changing decision.
We ultimately decided, with teeth gritted, eyes closed and fingers crossed, to uproot the lives of two adults, three teenagers, and a six year old (at the time) and to jump, not knowing what the future would bring.
To say it has been easy would be a total lie. Everyone in our family, myself included, has gone through a process of adapting to new norms, new routines, new people and new environments that I had not expected.
Like the locals say here, it's wicked hahd to change and to staht ovah.
But we have each discovered new dimensions to ourselves and grown as a result. My wife's genuine, in the moment, declaration took us both by surprise, and also caused to reflect on what it really meant.
There is a saying: no risk it, no biscuit. It means if you play it safe and are unwilling to occasionally go all in and take a risk, you cannot get the reward.
We had the courage to take a big risk with our family. After four years, we are fortunate to be able to step back and, despite some of the challenges we may have faced, see some ultimate rewards from that gut wrenching decision.
Risks are unavoidable. They can be scary and complicated and create stress and anxiety and pain. On top of all of that, you still may not be able to achieve what you hoped to get. When faced with risk, it is easy to fall into a pattern to over analyze or play it safe and determine that it is not worth having to endure all of that without a guaranteed outcome.
I like to look at it differently: with every risk comes an outcome that could also be an opportunity. Sure, failure may be an option, but if you have faith in yourself and your ability to assess the factors that go along with the risk as well as the immediate effects that may follow, the opportunity for reward can be even better than you expected.
Friends, so remember, no risk it, no biscuit. Sometimes you just gotta grit your teeth, cross your fingers and jump....and know there is a cookie waiting for you when you land......
I can assure you that there is not much risk checking out the stories this week -- all good stuff if you have the time. Take a look. And hey, either way, thanks for reading and for being a part of the FoD community!
XOXO
Dave
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