Friends of Dave #299: the banning of sliced bread
What is it about intensity?
Friends, any of you who know me personally know that I can be a bit intense at times.
Sometimes this trait can sometimes be positively identified as passionate, energetic, enthusiastic or spirited.
Let's just say chill, relaxed or laid back are adjectives you would not find anywhere on my LinkedIn profile.
I come by this honestly as I can see what my siblings, parents and relatives have all usually lacked for in height has been replaced with the ability to be passionate team players. Yes, we are a fairly intense people.
With school and Fall sport season back upon us, I have received multiple reminders that I have dutifully passed this affliction on to each of my offspring as well.
What is it about intensity? Is it a good thing or a bad thing?
This came up recently in a conversation with my youngest son, who can be a raw nerve of emotion particularly when it comes to competition. Now that he has entered his middle school years, he is very much aware of the need to manage himself appropriately.
We've been talking about learning how and when to turn up intensity as well as turn it down. Essentially how to use it to influence positive outcomes and recognize that when it is unchecked, how it can lead to negative results for us.
It starts with understanding that intensity is actually a term in physics used to describe the power of light, sound and force. When you think about it, this holds true when it comes to people as well: intense people can sometimes be both animated and loud at times.
Quiet intensity is not any less powerful -- it just happens without much warning to others.
At a visceral level, intensity is disruptive. It is unsettling. For many people, intensity can be scary.
But it is concentrated. It is usually not something that is infinite in duration. Intensity can also be focused on a particular point with precision.
So when we talk about whether intensity is good or bad, particularly in people, the answer really is in how effectively it can be managed.
Managed poorly, intensity can be a material liability that has the potential to make situations and relationships extremely unpleasant or ineffective.
But managed skillfully or with intent, intensity can be a huge advantage. It can create unseen inertia that drives something to an outcome quicker, with a heightened focus, or with more force.
When it comes to teams, those that lack the ability to elevate intensity are usually less successful -- so you can see it can be an essential ingredient to success. You need good intensity from time to time -- it just needs to be governed.
The interesting thing about intensity is that there can be a fine line that separates the good and the bad results. This is what makes people generally wary about it.
Think about the people who are the most intense in your own circles, networks and companies. How do they make you feel?
Do you like them for being fiery, passionate and enthusiastic? Or do they scare you or turn you off?
Usually, if they are good at managing their intensity, you can be drawn to them and can feed off their positive energy. These people actually bring groups together and get things done.
If they let their intensity go unchecked or do not have strategies, bosses, mentors or even partners/spouses that understand how to help them appropriately harness this force, they can be toxic. They are The Hulk times 50. No one likes them, they are disruptive and their output, sound and animations are distracting.
So intensity can be good. AND it can be bad. Don't shy away from intense people -- they may just be in need of some proper management.
And with that....on to the articles. Grab yourself a pumpkin spiced latte, lay out some decorative gourds, and enjoy the selections this week. Issue #300 (!) will be in your inbox next Saturday!
XOXO
Dave
Think on This...
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