Friends of Dave #329: when spaghetti grew on trees
Oh the things we can learn from 6th Grade boys.....
FACT: the most annoying humans walking the planet HAVE to be twelve year old boys.
They are obnoxious. They are hormonal. They are insecure. They literally stink.
Why any sane person would willfully choose to spend their free time with these creatures is beyond comprehension.
I’m pretty sure most adults of right mind would rather drink iced kombucha with a Millennial pushing a huge mega stroller than spend an extra minute with a twelve year old boy.
And yet, Friends, I now find myself spending two nights a week with 20 of them….
I’m telling you I was SO OUT….and I allowed myself to get sucked in. My twelve year old sports loving son has been playing lacrosse since 1st grade (I played in high school). This year his team needed an assistant coach and I am friendly with the Dad who is head coach. I’ve happily watched him work with the boys in previous seasons from the comfort of a folding chair on the sidelines. I was fully prepared to do it again this year.
But I knew this year would be different. This year, to quote Nigel Tufnel, the annoyingness factor goes to eleven. And one coach would have a hard time doing it themself.
So I decided the humane thing to do was to help out and enter the lion’s den….
It has been amusing to say the least.
The first thing you notice is that they are just not cool at all. Even the ones that think they are cool are just an insecure, awkward combination of short attention spans, hormones, metal teeth and high pitched and cracking voices who think they know everything.
Another thing to know about learning to play lacrosse (and coaching it) — while there are elements of other sports like soccer, hockey and basketball, the mechanics of throwing and catching are not easy to pick up and master. So providing a bunch of adolescent boys with metal sticks and very hard rubber balls makes for interesting action on the field.
But when I look past the individual packaging, I can see a team that actually resembles teams I have experienced in the workplace.
On this team we have:
The loud and obnoxious players that are talented, can score goals but also like to break rules and cause trouble
The good, quiet ones who are solid performers and just want to please their parents and the coaches
The ones who think they are better than they are, and constantly complain (or have parents complaining) about lack of playing time, even when they are not doing anything extra to earn it
The ones who like to argue about everything, distract others and are hard to coach
The ones who you can see have some talent but are new to the game and are struggling as they are figuring things out
The ones who don’t want to be there at all and are only going through the motions because their parents signed them up
The challenge we have as coaches: we aspire to bring all of these types of players together as a team twice a week at practice and once a week for games so that everyone as a group has fun, improves their skills and wins some games along the way.
Not all that different from how we come together in our professional lives, right?
So how do you do it? First, you have to have a plan for every practice that is communicated by the head coach to the assistants. There needs to be clear alignment on what the objective for the practice or a particular drill is looking to achieve.
Then, the coaches need to communicate that to the players and set expectations. Given the different types of players, personalities and skill levels on the team, the objective may need to be delivered differently to groups of players. The kids that have been playing a while will pick up on concepts much quicker than the ones that are struggling or new to the game — but they all need to be on the same page.
Next, you execute the plan — set the drill or exercise in motion. The players need to be held accountable for performing what has been asked of them. Some will need tough love. Some will need patience. Some just need positive reinforcement. There are times that when you see the ones that seem to be excelling you empower them to help “coach” the others. You also want to create an environment where the player is not afraid to ask questions or for help if they don’t get it.
Over time, as you run drills at practice, you can start to see patterns in the kids’ play — some kids always struggle with the same thing. It could be mechanics of their throwing. It could be aggressiveness or decision making ability. It could be their confidence level. This is where as a coach, you need to be able to fine tune the instruction to help them improve individually.
Finally, you need to be willing to adapt and change gears if the original plan isn’t working. Maybe the players didn’t fully understand or grasp the objective of a drill. Maybe they were having a bad day and everyone was just not performing well. Maybe extraneous factors like field conditions or weather make it hard to execute. Whatever it is — you cannot just stick to a game plan with the kids if it isn’t working or they aren’t having fun. That is when you start to lose them. Being willing and able to adapt on the fly keeps things positive and fun.
It’s only been a few weeks, but I have mostly good things to report.
Just like at work, it’s rewarding to see team members improve in small ways from practice to practice. When the coaches are aligned and working together, our practices are fun for everyone — even when they are working hard. And through it all, we a building a team chemistry and identity that will get us through any tough times or challenges we encounter throughout the season.
Needless to say, I’m having fun…they can still be annoying little jerks, but I’m having fun…I guess I always do….
Have a great weekend everyone.
XOXO
Dave
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