Friends of Dave #331: evel pie
Nothing really matters. But we still need to feel like it does.
Many many thanks to the responses I received to my request last week for Paris recommendations. As usual, the FoDs came through with some great ones.
To start this week, something to think about:
Earth is approximately 4.5 billion years old.
Humans have been on it for about 200,000 years, with about 117 billion humans having the opportunity to walk the Earth during that time.
If we are lucky, the 8 billion of us alive right now each might live to be 100 years old.
So, when you think about it on that scale, what almost all of us choose to do on a daily basis really doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things.
Statistically it has almost no impact on the world or the universe or the course of human history.
The jobs we all hold. The things we all stress out about. The things we choose to do that actually reduce our years on the planet. The things we all think are really important. They don’t really matter.
Fact is, when your 100 years are up, no matter what you do or how successful you become or how much money you make, statistically you will have made no difference to the planet…..
Wow….right now I bet you’re like, WTF Dave…..pretty sh*tty preamble. This is what I get when I open this lousy email?
Here’s the thing though:
Despite all of the statistics, we all need to feel like we matter and what we do matters.
We need to feel like our jobs matter. The things we stress about matter. The things we all think are important DO matter. We all need to feel like WE are important and that WE matter (note, I am stopping short of saying “special” because, as mentioned a few times here before, while we may be unique, none of us are “special”).
On some sort of level that we all need to feel like we are making a difference and contributing, without regard to how statistically insignificant it may be in the big scheme of things.
Each of us….because otherwise, what is it all for, right?
But what makes us each feel like we matter?
Money, job titles, things we own, the “power” we have, the likes, the hearts, the thumbs up emojis, the followers on social media, the shares….we use all of these as a barometer to convince ourselves that we are important.
The funny thing is, those all go away when we leave the planet.
You know what really matters more?
How we impact how someone else feels about themselves.
Do we make others feel like they matter? It’s funny, as I write this, I am reminded why so many people loved Mister Rogers — that was his whole thing.
So how can we do this?
We each spend so much of our waking time on the planet doing our “daily work,” whatever it may be. Maybe we should focus less on judging others on their performance (because, again, in the big scheme of things, like your opinion about someone else really matters?) and comparing that to how maybe how we would do things and more on simply showing appreciation for their efforts. Go out of our way to help make someone else feel like they matter without judgement.
Of course, if you are a parent, manager, coach, boss, leader, part of your daily work is to teach, judge and to improve the performance of others. While you do this, keep in mind that people will often forget the details of outcomes of a certain event or task, but will ALWAYS remember how they felt when they were done.
You can be critical of others without making them feel insignificant. What are you doing to make them feel like they matter?
And when it comes to managing ourselves, keeping things in perspective helps. The things that stress us out, consume us and make us frustrated — how much do they really matter?
If you are looking for purpose in what you do, find the things that you do that have a direct or indirect impact on others and makes their lives better. And if you can’t find that, maybe look at it as a signal that it is time to choose a new line of “daily work"….
Friends, one thing always stays constant with me — you matter. I appreciate you checking in here each week to hear whatever it is I have to say. Thanks for helping me feel like I matter.
Have a great one!
XOXO
Dave
Think on This…
Far from being something to shun, uncertainty makes real decisions and therefore real creativity possible.
For Your Day Job…
There is a romantic vision of startup employment that doesn’t hold up under close scrutiny. Business model risk is extreme and the financial opportunity cost is significant. There are some circumstances where working at a startup makes sense! But it is important to go in with open eyes.
Growth as an indicator of success is a toxicity that infects our ability to determine balance reasonably. If the company isn't going to be successful long term, then growth is only a vanity metric.
If we want to think about longevity, think beyond only growth and embrace a structure that supports efficiency at all level.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness…
Over the course of a few months, several Zoom meetings, and countless emails, six THR film critics came together to hash out, and rank, what they consider the greatest films since 2000.
Pizza has had a universal appeal. Over the years, some of the places serving this beloved dish have gotten a little weird. Here are a few.
Coulrophobia, or the fear of clowns, is a widely acknowledged phenomenon. Studies indicate this fear is present among both adults and children in many different cultures. Yet it is not well understood due to a lack of focused research.