Friends of Dave #367: 🛑 avoid toxic people 🙅♂️
Starting off 2024 with a few rants and observations.
How we doing Friends?
Hope you survived the holidays, had some time to recharge, spend time with some family, reflect and enjoy all that you have in your life.
Did all of that? Good. Now it is back to reality.
Here’s some thoughts I had swimming through my head as I enjoyed some downtime over the past few weeks:
This may not come as any shock to some of you, but as someone who typically is fairly healthy, I am here to report with firsthand knowledge that the healthcare situation in the United States is a complete 💩 show. Without boring you with all of the details, I will just say this: it has become clear to me that for most, the days of having a doctor that truly cares about your well being are long gone. “Doctors” these days seem to be motivated by one thing — seeing as many patients as possible in one day to ring the register for the practice. That means packed schedules, little time to troubleshoot ailments, and certainly very little listening to patients. Along these lines, “urgent care” is a complete farce — it’s basically get you in, write you a script for antibiotics and/or steroids and get you out. Who cares if it actually solves the patient’s problem? Emphasis on the “urgent,” not on the “care” and just deal the drugs. Not a big surprise that this change coincides with the influx of private equity into medical practices. Why we put up with this in a first world country is beyond me….
Here’s one that long time FoD Christian Eidt brought up in a recent conversation: you reach out to me to ask for my time to “pick my brain,” or sell me something or discuss something that might ultimately benefit you — don’t send me your f^cking Calendly link and then ask me to look through it and schedule a time to talk to you. These days it seems that some people think that by having a Calendly account it gives them permission to skirt common courtesy and be most concerned (ironically, kind of like modern “doctors”) about their time.
I’ve been thinking about this….and as a wise man once said, “if I’m here and you’re here, doesn’t it make it our time?” If you request that I take some of “my time” and turn it into “our time,” the least you can do is take the action to schedule the damn meeting….and maybe bring pizza while you are at it!
While I was taking some of my time to recharge a bit over the holiday break, I took to the streaming services…..I am going to warn you right now, especially if you are over the age of 25, if you are looking for something fun or relaxing, or maybe even slightly quirky, do not, I REPEAT DO NOT, watch the movie Saltburn…no matter how much your Gen-Z family members tell you that you should….because they are probably going to be secretly filming you and your reactions to certain scenes for their TikToks….let’s just say the best way to describe it would be like if the HBO show Euphoria and the movie Talented Mr. Ripley had a baby….and then dropped it on it’s head…
And certainly do not, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, then watch the Jaoquin Phoenix movie Beau is Afraid, which makes Everything Everywhere All At Once seem like a Disney flick….of the 2 billion movies I could have possibly chosen from the 100 streaming services we have, I managed to catch both Saltburn and Beau is Afraid in one 24 hour period….not that they are bad movies. Just both were very weird, out there, fever dreams.
No that was not the reason I went to urgent care….
On a separate, more wholesome note, It’s a Wonderful Life does not disappoint 77(!) years later (and almost 100 years after the beginning timeline in the movie) — though watching the colorized version seemed almost wrong. And, frankly, it is about as much of a Christmas movie as Die Hard.
Now, Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve with Ryan Seacrest….thank you for clearly being the only programming that shamelessly recognizes and panders to Generation X. Sadly, no Dick Clark and no Saltburn cast members making guest appearances there….and while Boomers have been fast asleep for hours after having dinner at 3:30pm and Millennials sit around a charcuterie board and complain about how adulting AND raising kids is, like, the hardest thing ever with Andy Cohen and Anderson Cooper getting tipsy doing shots on CNN in the background, ABC triumphantly chose to broadcast scores of 50+ year old suburban adults with overbites awkwardly dancing to LL Cool J rapping a heavily edited medley of hits just before the ball drops and we go to bed two minutes later….cannot wait until you bring out Salt-N-Pepa or C+C Music Factory in a few years….hell yeah, ABC, f^ck those Millennials and our Saltburn worshipping Gen-Z kids. Yo baby pop, push it real good!
Speaking of Millennials and Gen-Z….the whole tipping for everything thing…isn’t it really just a continuation of giving participation trophies to everyone? 🤔
To every parent thinking it might super hilarious to prank their little kids by having someone dressed as the Grinch suddenly bust into the house and steal toys from under the tree while filming it to share with the world on social media…here’s a thought:
How about for your next performance review we invite you into a conference room…there are snacks and champagne there….you are convinced that you are getting a promotion, a raise and a bonus…life is great and you are happy and your family will be so proud…..and then, just as you are thinking of how to compose the perfect LinkedIn post announcing this great accomplishment, all of a sudden, the CEO of your company interrupts the meeting, flanked by a large security guard carrying a box of your personal belongings, and informs you that your position is being eliminated effective immediately….all the while the head of HR is giggling as they live stream it and your reaction on your company’s intranet….not so funny now is it?
And, of course, somehow this whole horrifying and humiliating event would be the company’s fault because it wasn’t fostering a “safe work environment” right? 🤔
I used to jump headfirst into any new projects, opportunities or relationships that came my way — giving them all equal weight and dedicating an equal amount of effort to each no matter how much work it would take. Now, the older I get, the more I find myself putting a premium on investing time on things and activities or with people that create the least amount of additional stress or BS in my life. The 🐂💩 to Time ratio has to have a high probability of being less than 1 to motivate me these days…
Another thing I found myself starting to do more lately — I am definitely a lot more liberal with saying “I love you” to those people that are most important to me. It of course starts with my family who hear it the from me regularly, but I won’t just limit it to them. We get exposed to so much negativity in our daily lives — I guess I figure why not tell the people that matter the most how you feel about them and how much they mean to you?
It also speaks to the power of feelings and how our feelings impact us — as I have said before, people might not always remember the exact words you say to them, but they will ALWAYS remember how you made them feel. If you can say or do something that makes someone else feel good (or loved or important), that will stick with them for a long time afterwards….
Similarly, this should also serve as a cautionary tale to all of those a$$holes freaking out their kids with Grinch pranks for the purposes of getting a few cheap laughs and likes online — mark my words, your day will come. You might not know how or when, but they’ll remember that feeling of terror and will find a way to make you know how they felt when the Grinch ran through the house that one Christmas and scared the living sh*t out of them…..
Who knows? If you are not careful they may just trick you into watching Saltburn…
And with that, we are off and running in 2024. No matter what comes our way, let’s make the most of it!
XOXO
Dave
And now a few things to make you smarter…
Humans love a good countdown—whether it’s a rundown of the most popular songs of the week or watching a car’s odometer reach 100,000 miles—and New Year’s Eve is no exception. Here’s the reason why you likely you puckered up with someone last week.
Americans spent nearly $30 billion on gift cards this past holiday season, according to the National Retail Federation. But many will remain unused. Here’s what happens when they go forgotten.
From "Dune: Part 2" to "Mean Girls," 2024 has a lot of anticipated movies. Here are 32 films you should plan to check out this year.
Based on the amount of sales/marketing/startup stuff I share from him, many of you know that I am a fan of Dave Kellogg. For you business folks, here are some of his thoughts on what will happen in the year ahead (and review of what he predicted for 2023). Always good stuff.
Many of you may be familiar with Scott Galloway and his No Mercy/No Malice blog. Always good and thoughtful content — here’s his take on what lies ahead in 2024 and his report card on his calls in 2023.
Again, I share a ton of stuff from Shane Parrish and the wisdom he passes along in the Farnam Street weekly newsletter. This one is a good one: think about these 7 points to reflect upon and “make yourself unstoppable” as you turn the page and get a fresh start in 2024. Link takes you to a PDF — print it out if you want.