Friends of Dave #381: 🍟 smells like mcdonald's 🍟
Communication breakdown -- it's always the same...
Friends, this week’s preamble is coming in hot from a lot of different angles.
It’s about communication — and how we all suck at it.
Time and time again, when you see dysfunction in an organization or amongst any group of people, you can usually trace it to one main source: a communication breakdown.
As Robert Plant once wailed, it’s always the same….
And yes, like an earworm you play on repeat a few too many times, it can drive us all insane.
Why don’t we all see it? Especially when it is happening?
People can get caught up in their own heads.
They don’t share information that can be useful.
They quickly jump to conclusions.
They want resolution to problems but aren’t curious and ask the questions whose answers could lead to the resolution.
They don’t take the time to seek alignment.
They aren’t empathetic to the people around them.
We talk too much. We talk too little. We can say we want to be heard, but we don’t take the time to think about how we want people to receive what we have to say.
We also hear words but don’t listen. We don’t take time to process and interpret. We make things way more complicated than they need to be.
AND, people always…ALWAYS…think everything is about them — when usually it isn’t.
Efficient communication is so critical to our daily well being, and yet, time and time again, we prove we suck at it.
You suck at it and I suck at it. We all suck at communication, Friends.
It’s always the same….and when things happen over and over without change and we expect a different outcome, that is insanity.
So what do we do?
I think the first step, is just to be aware of it.
When you are sensing discord on your team, in your organization, with a partner or family member, look for the communication breakdown. Ask yourself what caused it in the first place? Wonder about what the contributing factors could be.
Don’t waste time placing blame or pointing fingers. Just take some time to think about why the breakdown in communication and misalignment might be happening.
Maybe someone is just having a bad day.
Maybe you said something, and you thought you were being clear, but it was misinterpreted.
Maybe you said something, you WERE perfectly clear, but you were a complete a$$hole about how you said it. That likely caused someone else to feel a certain way and it took things off track.
Maybe a simple thing is unnecessarily being made complex.
Maybe key information and context was missing from a conversation and one or more people made erroneous conclusions.
Maybe a decision was made, possibly above your pay grade, but the reason why it was made was not disclosed or explained to you. Maybe you won’t get that clarity even though you’d really like to have it…and you have to deal with your feelings about that ambiguity.
Does any of this resonate with you?
And I know some of you might be thinking — Dave, this is all 🐂💩. Why should I have to take the time and think all about this when someone else might be causing the problem?
Why do I have to do this? Why aren’t the other people involved doing it?
The reason: it takes just one person to recognize the problem, stop the madness and start the process of resolving a breakdown in communication. Be that person.
Why do you want that dysfunction in your life? Why let your ego get the best of you and perpetuate insanity? You are better than that.
Be the person who seeks alignment and harmony and brings people together — even if it means you might have take a few extra steps, think about someone else other than yourself, ask some uncomfortable questions or hear some difficult answers.
If nothing else, just remember that communication breakdowns are always the same. They are disruptive and cause dysfunction — and are avoidable if we want them to be.
You know what is not avoidable though? Pretty certain if you know the Led Zeppelin song of the same name or clicked on the link above, you will most likely have it stuck in your head for the rest of the day….yes, earworms are always the same too….
You’re welcome!
XOXO
Dave
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