Friends of Dave #389: 🎤 nobody knows it 🎶
When it comes to commitments, it's in or out -- seldom is there an in between.
School is winding down for the year, and our youngest son is reaching an important decision point in his life.
We’ve all been there at one time or another.
He’s a pretty active kid. He’s a conscientious student and gets good grades. Loves and excels at playing a variety of team sports in every season. And also enjoys music — and has shown some legit talent in that area as a member of his middle school jazz band as well.
The problem with that last bit — as he gets drawn deeper into teenaged jockdom, our son is finding that the social scene amongst the music kids is beginning to divert a bit from his evolving tastes and status.
It’s safe to say he will not be clamoring to go to hang with the kids at band camp this summer….
That said, we have a pretty strict rule in our family — once you make a commitment to an activity, group or team, whether you like it or not, you stick with it until it ends. That could be the end of a marking period, season or school year. You are expected to go to every practice, performance or game, without argument or whining, unless there is a legitimate reason. There is absolutely no quitting in season.
It’s becoming clear to us that, despite our regular encouragement and his true interest in music, band is a likely going to be a casualty next year. My wife and I could fight him on it and demand that he continue, but we’ve seen that movie before and know how it ends….that path can become a horror show for us real quick.
But we’ll cross that bridge next year. Until school ends in the next few weeks, however, it is still a thing and the expectation is that he puts forth the same amount of effort with that as he does with his studies or sports.
As we like to say:
“You are either in or you are out. There is no in between.”
When you make a commitment to something, anything or anyone, you can’t waffle or hedge. You have to be all-in or all-out — otherwise it just doesn’t work.
Put your time, effort and heart into it.
Show respect for others that have also committed to it.
See it through and do it well.
Whether it is band, sports, school, relationships, managing others, your work….you name it. Sure it might suck or not be pleasant at times, but you made a commitment. Until it is no longer a thing, it is still a thing you are expected to do.
You are either in or you are out, but there is no in between.
Think about it….think about those times when you committed to something with someone else and they just didn’t put their heart into it like you did. How did that feel?
Think about how that also impacted your experience and the experience of others.
Now think about those things you are committed to doing now that maybe aren’t the top thing you really want to do. Are you in or are you out?
If you weren’t sure, that means you are sort of in between……and remind yourself that, until the thing is not a thing, there cannot be an in between.
Have a great one!
XOXO
Dave
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