Friends of Dave #396: 🦈 cocaine sharks 🤒
If you are going to coach or manage someone, be a stakeholder in their success.
“By Monday, no doubt we’ll be talking about something else.”
That is what I wrote in last week’s preamble about the rapid fire nature of news cycles in modern times.
Well, Friends, was I right, or was I right?
A former president getting shot in the ear? Ancient history. Crowdstrike? Oh, yeah, I remember that….Now it’s all about coconut trees and fever dream Olympic opening ceremonies….
Crazy times indeed….
I spent a good portion of last weekend on a lacrosse field sideline watching our youngest complete his summer club tournament season.
It was the culmination of a just about a year’s worth of drills, practices, jamborees and lots of driving. Overall, a good experience for him — improved skills, satisfied his need to compete, he made some friends, became a leader on the team and had fun.
If you have kids into sports, you too know the drill.
Having gone through this a few times before, we’re pretty realistic about the expected return on the expense and time we have invested. If he is having a good time, developing socially, contributing as a member of his team and, oh yes, learning to work at becoming a better player at one of the sports he enjoys playing, that is a great thing. We are not chasing college offers, scholarship dollars or expecting anything more than that.
That said, one of the main reasons parents get their kids into premium activities (and pay premium prices for it) is so that they can receive a higher level of professional instruction — certainly better than they could get from the average parent, coach or teacher in their local town.
I happened to bump into his summer club coach in between games at the tournament last weekend and made a point of thanking him for his time and for working with our son. If you have ever coached a kid’s team or volunteered for kid activities (particularly teenagers) you know that, while rewarding, at times it isn’t a walk in the park.
I also asked for any specific feedback he could give to help our son continue to improve his skills heading into next season. Having watched countless hours of him playing, I had my thoughts on it, but because this was a more seasoned, professional coach (who also happened to have a specialty in the position my son plays), I was interested in hearing his perspective.
“He is a great kid,” he replied with a friendly smile. “Coachable. Love having him on the team.”
That was it.
After the hours of commitment and effort by our son and our family over the course of the year and the dollars that we spent, that was the extent of the insights he gave me before he trotted off.
I asked my son later if he might have gotten anything more from the coach directly. He said aside from occasional instruction during a game or drill, he didn’t get much.
The coach was a nice guy, said nice things about my son and seemed to like him. But it was clear that, after almost a year of working with him, he was not really a stakeholder in my son’s success.
While we were investing time and money in the team and its success, he was not reciprocating in kind with my son. That sucked.
Friends, think about the best coaches, leaders, teachers or managers you have had.
I’ll bet that one of the things that made them effective was that they cared about the success of those beneath them. Regardless of how many people they were charged with overseeing, they invested some time in each person and genuinely wanted to give them the tools, support and wisdom they needed so that they could succeed.
It was a reminder to me that the best managers truly are stakeholders in the success of those that they are leading. Sure, it may take a little more time and effort, but it goes a long way in getting others to buy into what they are saying. It is also infectious as it draws people in and makes them stakeholders in the overall success of the team.
As a parent of a kid playing club sports, when a coach is a stakeholder it certainly makes all of the drills, practices, jamborees, driving and dollars invested worth it.
And when they are not, it makes you question why you are doing it all in the first place….🤔
XOXO
Dave
And now a few things to make you smarter…
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