Friends of Dave #405: 🍂 autumn vs fall 🎃
It all gets settled in the pool.
My oldest son used to be a swimmer.
Well, it’s not that he suddenly lost his ability to actually swim. When he was younger he swam competitively.
He was always a kid who, while possessing some athletic ability, struggled with field sports where things came at him from all angles. He liked being on a team, but his difficulty managing all of the inputs (the passes, the positioning, the coaches/parent/other kids yelling) just made sports like soccer or football stressful for him.
So we got him into competitive swimming. As a competition, swimming is pretty simple — you have one lane and the goal is to get from one end to the other as fast as you can during your event, which usually lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a couple of minutes.
It was actually ideal for our son — he was able to be part of a team, but it allowed him to get into a zone and focus on his movements and his actions without having to worry about unexpected distractions coming from unexpected angles.
It’s funny, because he is now in his early twenties and we see this in his approach to his journey into adult life as well.
He took to swimming quickly, and while he may not have been the most intensely competitive person by nature, the form of his strokes in every discipline he did was excellent.
Due to his diligence in practice and following the instruction he received from his coaches, his breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly and freestyle all developed into effortless movements. I am more of a field sports person myself, but it really was amazing to watch.
With swimming, I think he really enjoyed the social aspects of being on the team, staying fit, the repetition and the calm, almost zen like state he entered into when he was in the pool swimming laps.
But of course there were competitions. Despite possessing a beautiful stroke and a positive attitude, the drive to win races wasn’t always the first priority for him. Swimming is a timed sport, so while you do swim against others, you are really competing against yourself and your own past performance.
As far as our son was concerned, long as he got better and had fun at the events, that was really all that mattered — both to him and to us.
But that wasn’t the case with all of his teammates.
He had one teammate that matched up with him in just about every heat due to their similar times. This kid was probably a bit more competitive and athletic than our son, but did not possess the same discipline and dedication with his strokes. You could say probably more will than skill.
He was also a pretty obnoxious kid (with — shocker — an equally obnoxious parent that my wife particularly despised) who thought he was better than he was, so he would consistently needle and talk smack to our son at practice and at school. Not quite Cobra Kai levels, but it created a lot of unnecessary drama. We just told our son to ignore it the best he could.
‘It will all get settled in the pool’ we would tell him.
So come race time, without fail, they would consistently be placed in the same heat. And it would always go the same way — the gun would go off and the Obnoxious Kid would kick and pull harder and get out to an early lead.
Our son just focused on his strokes and did his thing in his lane. Great, consistent form, one stroke at a time. Didn’t worry about what was happening in any other lane than his own.
Slowly he would close the gap.
Sometimes they would be in adjacent lanes — others they were separated by a number of lanes in the pool. And as the gap between the two swimmers got smaller, the same thing happened just about every time.
The Obnoxious Kid, regardless of whether he was in first place or 6th place in the heat, as he got closer to the finish would disrupt his stroke, stick his head up, and look to see where our son was in relation to him. No matter if he was in the lane next to him or across the pool.
Our son, on the other hand, just kept swimming. Stroke after stroke, kick after kick. Undistracted, doing his best and sticking to what he could control until he touched the side of the pool.
Every time in a competition, whether he won the heat overall or not, he would end up finishing ahead of the Obnoxious Kid. Seriously — every time. Sometimes our son didn’t even realize it until afterward when they posted the times.
Think about it. How often do we all fall prey to the same trap as that Obnoxious Kid? Whether it is in business or our personal lives. We are all swimming in our own lanes. How often to do we think we have it all figured out? How often do we get distracted by what other people think or what they are doing?
Who gives a 💩? Just keep your head down and focus on your own stroke in your own lane.
One stroke at a time.
Be confident in your ability but don’t get over confident.
Don’t stick your head up and worry about what someone else is doing in another lane.
If you lose your heat, work to get better.
If you win your heat, keep doing what you are doing but know, either way, there is always room to improve.
In the end, Friends, whether you end up being Michael Phelps or Michael Scott, it all gets settled in the pool.
XOXO
Dave
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