Friends of Dave #406: 🤙 hang loose 🤙
Reminder: Sometimes it is okay to not give a F.
I’ve talked about this a few times in this space here before: I believe there is a direct correlation between age and the amount of f’s people are willing to give at a given time.
It’s probably one of the things I personally appreciate the most about aging.
The older we get, the more we begin to care less about what other people think about us, the things we do, what we wear, etc. We begin to realize that life is short and we only have a finite amount of f#!ks we can give to others at any given time.
It doesn’t mean it is okay to suddenly get cold and heartless or self centered — it just means that as we get older we spend less time worrying about the consequences of the stupid little stuff we choose do for ourselves on a daily basis.
Think about it. When you are younger you worry about how other people perceive the clothes you wear, the type of house you live in, how your kids and their behavior may be a reflection upon you, the kind of car you drive, the title you have at work.
Those are things that can take up significant brain space and time when you are of a certain younger age.
Then one day, you find yourself wearing comfy shoes and sweats to the grocery store, driving the same car you have had for a number of years and going to bed early instead of staying up to watch The Golden Bachelor so you can be a part of the recap during the team touch base meeting the next day.
The amount of f**ks you give about what others think goes down exponentially after age 40. By age 80, it should be damn near zero.
For me, one of things I am doing lately where IDGAF— I cheer loudly for my kid (and the other kids I know) at sporting events.
If you know me, you know I am not a quiet guy. Never have been. I am one that is prone to get shushed by others due to the pitch and volume of my speaking voice. People hated sitting next to me in the office bullpen earlier in my career. Now my family bears the brunt of this as I work from home.
I get excited and animated by things easily — what can I say?
So I guess my feeling is that if I am attending a public event in an open space, not confined by walls or tight quarters or people solving important business problems for their customers, I should be able to appropriately emote as voraciously as I would like.
I mean, people take dogs to dog parks so they can run around without a leash right? People go to clothing optional beaches so they can sunbathe unencumbered by fabric on their skin, right?
For an excitable person like me, youth sporting events are my dog park and nude beach….
Okay maybe not literally…but you get what I mean….
Here’s the thing: now that we are on to our fourth and final kid and he is approaching high school age, I know full well that we are entering a time in our lives of potential “lasts” with him regarding his activities. And with each game, performance, tournament, practice, school picture and report card, it is getting closer to the end of things we have experienced as parents for more than half of our adult lives.
Let’s just say I am fully aware that we are entering into more “lasts” than “firsts.”
For me I love watching live events, particularly sports. I also love watching people doing things they love to do. Especially people I know. And I exponentially love when those people I know are my kids doing those things that they love.
So when I go to these events, I am all in. Which of course means I transform into that dog at the dog park or the exhibitionist going au naturel at the beach so to speak.
That means if you are there too, you are going to hear me.
I really do try to minimize the impact by standing as far up in the stands as I can (my wife, god love her, gets it and dutifully stands up there next to me). Doesn’t always work though — I had someone in a press box recently try to shush me at a youth football game because my cheers were getting picked up on an open stadium mic.
Mind you I’m don’t shout anything negative or inappropriate in tone. I’m not an unhinged lunatic or anything. I don’t yell at the refs or coaches or opposing players or parents. I keep it all in perspective.
I guess it is just the volume….I cheer LOUDLY and ENTHUSIASTICALLY in support of the people and kids participating…..exponentially so for my kid. When they do something well, I cheer. When they need support after making a mistake, I cheer. Friends, if you or your kid was there, I would do the same for you or them.
Why? Because today I can.
Because I know tomorrow there will be one less game or performance for me to do it.
And someday soon, for whatever reason, I might not have the opportunity to watch and loudly support that kid I know and love.
So in the continuum of f*%ks I have to give, I’m choosing not to give one about what other people think about the volume of my cheering during a 1.5 hour outdoor youth sporting event on a random Fall weekend.
Because the world will continue to turn in the minutes after the final whistle ending that game. We will all move on to worrying about other things. And while we may not have an infinite amount of f^*ks, there is going to be an infinite amount of time for us all to be shushed.
XOXO
Dave
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