Got a few things on my mind this week, Friends.
I was traveling for work and decided to get in a little sightseeing. Nothing big, just a few hours of walking around.
It’s funny. In my younger days, I was pretty much “all business” on business trips. Work in the office, work lunches, work dinners, work drinks and then work in the hotel room.
I figured they were called “business trips” for a reason and that was why I was there.
As I have gotten older, and the work trips have gotten a little less frequent, I have come to enjoy them more – the time to myself, the time seeing other places, the time enjoying a meal in a local restaurant.
Sure, the work is always there…but you start to realize that the time isn’t. So it’s okay to take a little time every now and then, right?
As I was walking about on a sunny, near cloudless day absorbing the sights, I passed by an older couple on the business city sidewalk.
The woman was pushing the man in a wheel chair. They were chatting and smiling and enjoying the beautiful day like I was. I couldn’t help but notice that they were both wearing identical pink T-shirts that said “I Support Dignity in Dying.”
Then, for some reason, as I walked past them by myself on my way back to my hotel, I suddenly found myself getting a little choked up right there on the sidewalk.
Father’s Day is this weekend, Friends – and I thought about my Dad. As many of you know and read, he passed away a few months ago.
It’s my first Father’s Day without him. As one of my good friends (and an FoD) texted me, the first year is tough because every day is a first.
I’ve actually been doing pretty well with it, but for some reason, seeing the older couple wearing the shirts got me right in the heart.
I’m proud to say my Dad was a man who not only lived his life with dignity, but he also died with dignity – right through his final breath and until the moment he was taken from his home to the mortuary.
Friends, it may sound a little strange, but if you or a loved one are ever diagnosed with a terminal illness or disease, I hope you or they are fortunate to pass from this Earth with the dignity and grace that my father did.
I believe everyone deserves to die with dignity – and I will do what I can to support people, causes and organizations that enable that.
My Dad was a fairly serious, reserved guy – so Father’s Day, particularly once I had a family of my own, was usually simple.
With it falling at the end of school and kids’ sports seasons, we didn’t usually see each other on the actual day. I’d send him a card, give him a call from my house, he’d stop whatever project he was working on that day and we would chat for about 15 minutes or so about the weather, our plans for the day, what my mom and my family was making us for dinner and whatever activities my kids had going on. It was a quick acknowledgement of mutual appreciation. He’d always make sure to wish me a happy Father’s Day before we got off as well and remind me to take some time to enjoy the day.
I am the only son in my family with two younger sisters, so it was nice to share that bond as fathers with him. This will be the first year I won’t have that, and I guess it just sort of hit me.
Yes, it’s a year of firsts…..
As I thought about my Dad this week, I also recalled one attribute to how he lived his life that I am trying to reinforce in my own as I get older:
He did whatever he could do avoid 🐂💩 at all costs.
Taking steps to ensure he didn’t create his own 🐂💩 was a given – but it would also include other people, places, discussions or situations. It was one of the many talents he had and seemed to master.
If my Dad’s 🐂💩 meter sensed that something could cause him to have to endure some measure of unnecessary 🐂💩, he had a world class talent to gracefully find ways to stay far away from it.
One key element of this approach by the way: he was not on social media.
We would joke when he got hearing aids a few years ago that his strategy was to switch them off to silence bickering at holiday dinners or my Mom going on about some technical challenge she was having with her phone or iPad.
Think about how hard it can be to avoid 🐂💩 – especially these days.
You KNOW the people.
You KNOW the places.
You KNOW the discussions.
You KNOW the situations.
It’s inevitable that we all create our own 🐂💩 from time to time – we’re human and humans with all of the feelings, emotions, fears and insecurities truly are 🐂💩 machines. We can easily find ourselves drawn to it…..kind of like flies.
Here’s the thing we all know deep down but can easily forget though: nothing good comes ever from 🐂💩, Friends. Particularly other people’s 🐂💩.
So where in my youth I might not hesitate to engage in something or a situation that could create some sort of drama or strife (like office politics), today I try to remind myself of what my Dad would do.
I’m self aware enough to know I can easily create BS in my own life. That’s why I tell myself to sharpen my 🐂💩 meter and stay away from it and the people and situations who frequently attract 🐂💩 altogether — the pot stirrers, the drama seekers, the schemers with their own agenda, the political postings, the social media doomscrolling. Minimize the risk of unnecessary 🐂💩 creeping into my situation.
Sure it may limit me socially, personally or professionally at times by doing so. But at least I can try to live my life with the dignity and grace (and calm!) that I deserve.
I know somewhere my Dad is quietly smiling and nodding in agreement…..
All of the best to FoDs that are fathers this Sunday! Here’s to a 🐂💩 free day!
XOXO
Dave
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