Sometimes your name just ends up on the Golden Toilet Seat..So the other day I am in the car with my sports obsessed, team jersey wearing, 8 year old son and the topic of Tom Brady, the Patriots and the upcoming Super Bowl comes up. When you live outside of Boston at this time of year, by the way, one or more of these topics generally come up in small talk with someone on any given day. That and it being "wicked freezin"....My son and I were recapping a recent Patriots playoff win as we listened to the post game press conference on the radio. During the Q&A, Brady was asked if, after all of these years, the win held any particular significance to him. His answer was classic, smug, uber confident Tom Brady that I am sure gets under the skin of 100% of the country outside of New England: "I just like winning."This lead us to a teachable moment where we discussed sportsmanship and the right way to conduct yourself when you win and when you lose. And that's when my son shared, "Dad, winning can be fun and all, but I really HATE losing."I thought about what he said for a few moments. While you would think they are one and the same, there is a definite difference between loving to win and hating to lose. And the approach we each take says a lot about who we are, how we compete, how we tackle challenges, and how we measure success.For some people, the feeling that they get from the thrill of victory is the prime motivator to work hard, prepare and execute a strategy. These fierce competitors cherish the ego boost, the accolades, the rewards and the attention that winning a competition, a deal, a bonus or an award brings with it. No matter what the challenge may be, people who love to win always want to be last standing and known as THE BEST at whatever it is when the dust settles. These can be great people to have as a part of your team. They can be aggressive, obsessed, relentless risk takers and leaders.There are others who don't find the same intense gratification that comes with winning. That doesn't make them any less competitive, however. These people who hate to lose seek to avoid, in anyway possible, the feeling of inadequacy they get when they do not achieve a particular goal. This is their prime motivator to work harder, prepare more, and execute more precisely than anyone else. For them, winning is just a momentary acknowledgement of success -- but losing represents systemic failure and a reminder that they were not scrappy or industrious enough to find a way to avoid falling short. They are the worriers and the grinders on your team.Like my son, I am one of those people who HATE TO LOSE more than I relish winning. Doesn't matter if it is a sports competition, a business deal or job interview. Make no mistake, I want to win, but I will do whatever I can to prepare myself and anyone around me so that we can do what it takes to not have to experience failure or disappointment. I guess I have always been this way -- I still remember playing goalie in the 4th grade floor hockey tournament in gym class and letting in a last second goal to lose in the "championship" game. To this day I remember how much I hated the intense, gut wrenching feeling that came over me that I let my teammates down...and that I let myself down. I guarantee you that no one else who played in that game about 40 years ago remembers it...and yet despite all of the personal and professional successes I have had the pleasure of experiencing along the way, I can picture it all vividly. It is remembering little moments like that one that still motivates me to succeed.Back in the car, I responded to my son's admission about his hatred for losing with a knowing chuckle. I agreed that I hate losing too. He then took pleasure in reminding me that the previous year, in our family fantasy football league, it was my team that happened to come in last place. The prize that goes along with it (compliments of my wiseass brother in-law who serves as commissioner): a toilet seat covered in gold spray paint that the loser has to sign. "But Dad, it's okay," he counseled, "You won the Golden Toilet Seat. And sometimes you just have to accept that it is okay that your name ends up on a gold toilet seat." Wise words, young grasshopper, wise words....So what motivates you? A love for winning or a hatred for losing? Or something else? Think about that as you scroll through the selections below. Be sure to check out the funny short Aviation Gin video in the Last Word....worth it.XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #109: Love Winning or Hateā¦
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Sometimes your name just ends up on the Golden Toilet Seat..So the other day I am in the car with my sports obsessed, team jersey wearing, 8 year old son and the topic of Tom Brady, the Patriots and the upcoming Super Bowl comes up. When you live outside of Boston at this time of year, by the way, one or more of these topics generally come up in small talk with someone on any given day. That and it being "wicked freezin"....My son and I were recapping a recent Patriots playoff win as we listened to the post game press conference on the radio. During the Q&A, Brady was asked if, after all of these years, the win held any particular significance to him. His answer was classic, smug, uber confident Tom Brady that I am sure gets under the skin of 100% of the country outside of New England: "I just like winning."This lead us to a teachable moment where we discussed sportsmanship and the right way to conduct yourself when you win and when you lose. And that's when my son shared, "Dad, winning can be fun and all, but I really HATE losing."I thought about what he said for a few moments. While you would think they are one and the same, there is a definite difference between loving to win and hating to lose. And the approach we each take says a lot about who we are, how we compete, how we tackle challenges, and how we measure success.For some people, the feeling that they get from the thrill of victory is the prime motivator to work hard, prepare and execute a strategy. These fierce competitors cherish the ego boost, the accolades, the rewards and the attention that winning a competition, a deal, a bonus or an award brings with it. No matter what the challenge may be, people who love to win always want to be last standing and known as THE BEST at whatever it is when the dust settles. These can be great people to have as a part of your team. They can be aggressive, obsessed, relentless risk takers and leaders.There are others who don't find the same intense gratification that comes with winning. That doesn't make them any less competitive, however. These people who hate to lose seek to avoid, in anyway possible, the feeling of inadequacy they get when they do not achieve a particular goal. This is their prime motivator to work harder, prepare more, and execute more precisely than anyone else. For them, winning is just a momentary acknowledgement of success -- but losing represents systemic failure and a reminder that they were not scrappy or industrious enough to find a way to avoid falling short. They are the worriers and the grinders on your team.Like my son, I am one of those people who HATE TO LOSE more than I relish winning. Doesn't matter if it is a sports competition, a business deal or job interview. Make no mistake, I want to win, but I will do whatever I can to prepare myself and anyone around me so that we can do what it takes to not have to experience failure or disappointment. I guess I have always been this way -- I still remember playing goalie in the 4th grade floor hockey tournament in gym class and letting in a last second goal to lose in the "championship" game. To this day I remember how much I hated the intense, gut wrenching feeling that came over me that I let my teammates down...and that I let myself down. I guarantee you that no one else who played in that game about 40 years ago remembers it...and yet despite all of the personal and professional successes I have had the pleasure of experiencing along the way, I can picture it all vividly. It is remembering little moments like that one that still motivates me to succeed.Back in the car, I responded to my son's admission about his hatred for losing with a knowing chuckle. I agreed that I hate losing too. He then took pleasure in reminding me that the previous year, in our family fantasy football league, it was my team that happened to come in last place. The prize that goes along with it (compliments of my wiseass brother in-law who serves as commissioner): a toilet seat covered in gold spray paint that the loser has to sign. "But Dad, it's okay," he counseled, "You won the Golden Toilet Seat. And sometimes you just have to accept that it is okay that your name ends up on a gold toilet seat." Wise words, young grasshopper, wise words....So what motivates you? A love for winning or a hatred for losing? Or something else? Think about that as you scroll through the selections below. Be sure to check out the funny short Aviation Gin video in the Last Word....worth it.XOXODave