Whether it's getting a deal done or a college acceptance, waiting is hard...This was a big week in our house -- the deposit to secure a spot for kid #2 at his college of choice was placed. As you can imagine it was a moment of both Joy and Pain for us here....I'm sure those of you who have been through the process know what I mean (and I know many of you reading this may have just experienced the same thing)...Hitting the "submit" button on the payment signaled the end of an over year long journey. From college visits and SATs last spring, to applications and essays this fall, to submission deadlines this November and December, there was enough teenage angst on full display to make a comprehensive 90's mixtape box set. Some of it was real, some contrived, but all fully testing a parent's patience.And then came the anticipation around each decision. And the stress that went with that. And the obligatory series of pensive selfies posted on a host of real and "fake" social media accounts of our teen gazing at a blank wall or a tree devoid of leaves or looking up at a gray sky with dark clouds (#nofilter) set with captions like "Colleging is hard" or "Ugh. #senioritis" or "When will it end?" Yes, my son, we too feel your pain....when WILL it end?At one point this February (when it was too cold to go outside to take selfies), he opined about how long a particular college was taking to evaluate his application and I just responded with, "I know... the waiting is the hardest part." Now, I'm pretty sure that Tom Petty never envisioned this song would be used as a parenting tool when he wrote it. "Free Fallin'" maybe, but not "The Waiting." But here I was, about to send my son into the great wide open -- a rebel without a clue...When you think about it, when an outcome is no longer in your control, the waiting is the hardest part. Maybe you are selling or buying a house. Or awaiting a job offer. Or if you are in sales, you have sent out that contract to your prospect in anticipation of their buying process being complete. It is really easy to obsess on when it will come back to you with a signature. Every hour and day that goes by without hearing from your contact, you wonder "Why is this taking so long?" "Was it priced too high?" "Are they having second thoughts?" Time is never on your side when a deal is to be done, and the waiting can just make you think (and over think) about everything that could derail it.How do you deal with the waiting? For me, I am naturally impatient (little wonder why my son reacted like he did, right?). Unfortunately, I am not one to go out and take pensive selfies to share with my followers on social media. So if an outcome is out of my hands and it is ambiguous about when I may get resolution, I will generally try to create some sort of reasonable catalyst or gentle nudge to spark conversation at some point along the way. Maybe it is an email forwarding an article I know the other person might like or posting something on LinkedIn related to the conversation/deal/etc. I'll do anything (again, within reason) to try to gain some tidbit of knowledge about what is going on when I am in a "waiting" zone.Unfortunately, in the case of my son, we had to break the news that we hadn't paid off a professional admissions counselor to have someone take his SATs for him or have him admitted as a member of a badminton team, so he was going to have to get in like the regular people do.I suggested maybe he pause with the selfies for a bit and we take a trip to the campus of the school in question for a tour during February break. He had already met one of their admissions reps for our geographic area when she came to his high school in the Fall, so I suggested he drop her a quick email seeing if she might be willing to briefly meet before or after the tour. He did and she replied that she was glad he was coming to campus and would be happy to meet with him.A quick one-on-one with the admissions rep both reassured my son and gave him one last chance to sell himself as a candidate. He left with a better understanding of the steps that were left in the process, and just a little over a week later, his acceptance letter arrived (these days, it comes first electronically followed by a full acceptance packet). Not surprisingly, this is the school he ultimately chose to attend. Now that the hardest part is over (for him at least, as we will soon be getting bills for tuition payments), the selfies are all with sunrises and sunsets (#nofilter). The flowers are in bloom, the trees all have leaves, and the only walls he gazes at are adorned with banners and posters of the school he will be attending this Fall with captions like "This." or "Best. Day. Ever." or "I can't wait to go!" Soon enough, the waiting will be over. Before he knows it, he will be running down a dream...Enjoy the links below and enjoy your weekend everyone!XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #122: The Waiting is Theā¦
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Whether it's getting a deal done or a college acceptance, waiting is hard...This was a big week in our house -- the deposit to secure a spot for kid #2 at his college of choice was placed. As you can imagine it was a moment of both Joy and Pain for us here....I'm sure those of you who have been through the process know what I mean (and I know many of you reading this may have just experienced the same thing)...Hitting the "submit" button on the payment signaled the end of an over year long journey. From college visits and SATs last spring, to applications and essays this fall, to submission deadlines this November and December, there was enough teenage angst on full display to make a comprehensive 90's mixtape box set. Some of it was real, some contrived, but all fully testing a parent's patience.And then came the anticipation around each decision. And the stress that went with that. And the obligatory series of pensive selfies posted on a host of real and "fake" social media accounts of our teen gazing at a blank wall or a tree devoid of leaves or looking up at a gray sky with dark clouds (#nofilter) set with captions like "Colleging is hard" or "Ugh. #senioritis" or "When will it end?" Yes, my son, we too feel your pain....when WILL it end?At one point this February (when it was too cold to go outside to take selfies), he opined about how long a particular college was taking to evaluate his application and I just responded with, "I know... the waiting is the hardest part." Now, I'm pretty sure that Tom Petty never envisioned this song would be used as a parenting tool when he wrote it. "Free Fallin'" maybe, but not "The Waiting." But here I was, about to send my son into the great wide open -- a rebel without a clue...When you think about it, when an outcome is no longer in your control, the waiting is the hardest part. Maybe you are selling or buying a house. Or awaiting a job offer. Or if you are in sales, you have sent out that contract to your prospect in anticipation of their buying process being complete. It is really easy to obsess on when it will come back to you with a signature. Every hour and day that goes by without hearing from your contact, you wonder "Why is this taking so long?" "Was it priced too high?" "Are they having second thoughts?" Time is never on your side when a deal is to be done, and the waiting can just make you think (and over think) about everything that could derail it.How do you deal with the waiting? For me, I am naturally impatient (little wonder why my son reacted like he did, right?). Unfortunately, I am not one to go out and take pensive selfies to share with my followers on social media. So if an outcome is out of my hands and it is ambiguous about when I may get resolution, I will generally try to create some sort of reasonable catalyst or gentle nudge to spark conversation at some point along the way. Maybe it is an email forwarding an article I know the other person might like or posting something on LinkedIn related to the conversation/deal/etc. I'll do anything (again, within reason) to try to gain some tidbit of knowledge about what is going on when I am in a "waiting" zone.Unfortunately, in the case of my son, we had to break the news that we hadn't paid off a professional admissions counselor to have someone take his SATs for him or have him admitted as a member of a badminton team, so he was going to have to get in like the regular people do.I suggested maybe he pause with the selfies for a bit and we take a trip to the campus of the school in question for a tour during February break. He had already met one of their admissions reps for our geographic area when she came to his high school in the Fall, so I suggested he drop her a quick email seeing if she might be willing to briefly meet before or after the tour. He did and she replied that she was glad he was coming to campus and would be happy to meet with him.A quick one-on-one with the admissions rep both reassured my son and gave him one last chance to sell himself as a candidate. He left with a better understanding of the steps that were left in the process, and just a little over a week later, his acceptance letter arrived (these days, it comes first electronically followed by a full acceptance packet). Not surprisingly, this is the school he ultimately chose to attend. Now that the hardest part is over (for him at least, as we will soon be getting bills for tuition payments), the selfies are all with sunrises and sunsets (#nofilter). The flowers are in bloom, the trees all have leaves, and the only walls he gazes at are adorned with banners and posters of the school he will be attending this Fall with captions like "This." or "Best. Day. Ever." or "I can't wait to go!" Soon enough, the waiting will be over. Before he knows it, he will be running down a dream...Enjoy the links below and enjoy your weekend everyone!XOXODave