Friends of Dave #136: We Need Some Boundaries
Trust me, I think you are going to want to read this one...
I know, I know, I said last week I was going to take it easy on the preambles during prime vacation time, but a few things came up this week that brought this intro front and center....you can email management for your money back if you'd like....
It's now August, and for most people across the northern hemisphere, it means that this month is when many hit the reset button before the big year-end push. Hopefully you are able to take time away from the office, go to the beach, spend time with the family, or just slow down the pace.
While you do, here's something to think about...
Perhaps this is just the residual effect from my summer-long endeavor of exploring mindfulness, but I'm beginning to really understand that the key to achieving more balance is our ability to establish and maintain boundaries. This applies to being in the office, on vacation, and pretty much all of the interpersonal relationships we have in our lives.
Of course, you say, "This seems like common sense, Dave, I have heard this before." But how often do you actually practice it?
It can be really hard when you have a stressful job, people that report to you, quarterly quotas/deadlines to hit, a family, responsibilities, etc. It's much easier to go on autopilot and make all of these things Priority #1a, #1b, #1c, #1d, #1e, and so on. Everything just blends together into one, big to-do list -- all requiring equal attention and energy from us.
So we kid ourselves by saying things like "I'm swamped -- I don't have time for that" or "You don't understand, it can't wait" or "I have to do X because no one else will do it" or "They NEED ME" or "They can't possibly be able to do Y without me." I know because I have said all of these things at one time or another.
Here's the deal: this is all complete BS. You do have the time. It can absolutely wait. Someone else can do it. You are not needed as much as you think. They will figure it out -- it might not be how you do it, but they will find a way.
So, as you recharge over the coming weeks before you prepare to crush it in Q4, I'm reminding you to take some time to evaluate the state of your boundaries across the board and practice:
-- Try leaving the phone off (see this week's Last Word, btw) when you go to the beach -- it's okay!
-- Maybe check your email at a set time just once a day -- it's okay!
-- If you are in the middle of something, don't reply to that text from your co-worker/boss/partner/friend/teenage kids until you are done -- it's okay!
-- Going away? Then skip the weekly check-in meeting/conference call where no one really says anything important anyway -- it's okay!
-- Get up early and go for a walk/run by yourself. Go sit somewhere and read a book. Take a nap. Be mindful. Do something you enjoy and don't feel guilty about it. Don't do something because you think it can't be done without you.
Make sure you have some boundaries. IT IS OKAY.
And when you get back to reality (whenever that is), make it a point to keep those boundaries in place. They help you create valuable space so you can absolutely crush Q4 and every quarter that follows if you do.
Next week this space will be much shorter....I have to practice what I preach. In the meantime, I took it easy on the links this week -- all pretty light reading but good stuff. And definitely worth checking out "The Great Hack" on Netflix.
XOXO
Dave
Streaming Pick of the Week
WATCH: "The Great Hack" on Netflix (trailer)
Compelling documentary exposing how Cambridge Analytica came to symbolize the dark side of social media. Much like "Super Size Me" had you thinking differently about fast food, you might feel like deleting your social media accounts after watching this one....
One To Think About...
Are Companies About to Have a Gen X Retention Problem? Gen Xers are getting fewer promotions than other age groups — and their frustration is building.
A Few For Your Day Job...
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As a follow up to my candid comments earlier this year about why people hate the marketing department, here's another look at why marketing is increasingly being seen as a drain of resources and costs for big brands.
9 Things Terribly Wrong With Sales Today
And not to be completely one sided, here are some candid thoughts for you salespeople (check out the links within the story as well). Thanks to Friend of Dave Jonathan Brickman for highlighting this on LinkedIn.
Disruption Is Coming For Financial Services, But From Where?
FinTech is such a broad industry topic these days and can mean different things to different people . With small firms operating in multiple segments of the industry, there are multiple fronts where disruptors may be coming for incumbents.
Your Weekly Dose of Randomness...
Cheez-Its And House Wine Are Teaming Up On The Ultimate Party Box
"Because nothing says 'swank' quite like a box of your favorites."
Data show binge drinking has been steadily rising in older adults
And in related news.....
This free, ugly font is made from hideously gerrymandered districts
IMHO, still doesn't hold a candle to arguably the best Gerry creation of all time: Fusilli Jerry
And The Last Word....
How Phones Made the World Your Office, Like It or Not — www.nytimes.com
“The Brick,” went on sale in 1983 for $3,995 (more than $10,000 in today’s dollars). It weighed about two pounds and took 10 hours to charge. On top of that, you could talk for only 20 minutes before it went dead.
From desk to car to pocket, in the last 45+ years, no question that mobile phones have transformed our lives. Fun (read: quick and easy) look at the evolution we all now take for granted.