Trust me, I think you are going to want to read this one...I know, I know, I said last week I was going to take it easy on the preambles during prime vacation time, but a few things came up this week that brought this intro front and center....you can email management for your money back if you'd like....It's now August, and for most people across the northern hemisphere, it means that this month is when many hit the reset button before the big year-end push. Hopefully you are able to take time away from the office, go to the beach, spend time with the family, or just slow down the pace. While you do, here's something to think about...Perhaps this is just the residual effect from my summer-long endeavor of exploring mindfulness, but I'm beginning to really understand that the key to achieving more balance is our ability to establish and maintain boundaries. This applies to being in the office, on vacation, and pretty much all of the interpersonal relationships we have in our lives.Of course, you say, "This seems like common sense, Dave, I have heard this before." But how often do you actually practice it? It can be really hard when you have a stressful job, people that report to you, quarterly quotas/deadlines to hit, a family, responsibilities, etc. It's much easier to go on autopilot and make all of these things Priority #1a, #1b, #1c, #1d, #1e, and so on. Everything just blends together into one, big to-do list -- all requiring equal attention and energy from us.So we kid ourselves by saying things like "I'm swamped -- I don't have time for that" or "You don't understand, it can't wait" or "I have to do X because no one else will do it" or "They NEED ME" or "They can't possibly be able to do Y without me." I know because I have said all of these things at one time or another.Here's the deal: this is all complete BS. You do have the time. It can absolutely wait. Someone else can do it. You are not needed as much as you think. They will figure it out -- it might not be how you do it, but they will find a way.So, as you recharge over the coming weeks before you prepare to crush it in Q4, I'm reminding you to take some time to evaluate the state of your boundaries across the board and practice: -- Try leaving the phone off (see this week's Last Word, btw) when you go to the beach -- it's okay!-- Maybe check your email at a set time just once a day -- it's okay! -- If you are in the middle of something, don't reply to that text from your co-worker/boss/partner/friend/teenage kids until you are done -- it's okay! -- Going away? Then skip the weekly check-in meeting/conference call where no one really says anything important anyway -- it's okay! -- Get up early and go for a walk/run by yourself. Go sit somewhere and read a book. Take a nap. Be mindful. Do something you enjoy and don't feel guilty about it. Don't do something because you think it can't be done without you.Make sure you have some boundaries. IT IS OKAY. And when you get back to reality (whenever that is), make it a point to keep those boundaries in place. They help you create valuable space so you can absolutely crush Q4 and every quarter that follows if you do. Next week this space will be much shorter....I have to practice what I preach. In the meantime, I took it easy on the links this week -- all pretty light reading but good stuff. And definitely worth checking out "The Great Hack" on Netflix. XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #136: We Need Some Boundaries
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Trust me, I think you are going to want to read this one...I know, I know, I said last week I was going to take it easy on the preambles during prime vacation time, but a few things came up this week that brought this intro front and center....you can email management for your money back if you'd like....It's now August, and for most people across the northern hemisphere, it means that this month is when many hit the reset button before the big year-end push. Hopefully you are able to take time away from the office, go to the beach, spend time with the family, or just slow down the pace. While you do, here's something to think about...Perhaps this is just the residual effect from my summer-long endeavor of exploring mindfulness, but I'm beginning to really understand that the key to achieving more balance is our ability to establish and maintain boundaries. This applies to being in the office, on vacation, and pretty much all of the interpersonal relationships we have in our lives.Of course, you say, "This seems like common sense, Dave, I have heard this before." But how often do you actually practice it? It can be really hard when you have a stressful job, people that report to you, quarterly quotas/deadlines to hit, a family, responsibilities, etc. It's much easier to go on autopilot and make all of these things Priority #1a, #1b, #1c, #1d, #1e, and so on. Everything just blends together into one, big to-do list -- all requiring equal attention and energy from us.So we kid ourselves by saying things like "I'm swamped -- I don't have time for that" or "You don't understand, it can't wait" or "I have to do X because no one else will do it" or "They NEED ME" or "They can't possibly be able to do Y without me." I know because I have said all of these things at one time or another.Here's the deal: this is all complete BS. You do have the time. It can absolutely wait. Someone else can do it. You are not needed as much as you think. They will figure it out -- it might not be how you do it, but they will find a way.So, as you recharge over the coming weeks before you prepare to crush it in Q4, I'm reminding you to take some time to evaluate the state of your boundaries across the board and practice: -- Try leaving the phone off (see this week's Last Word, btw) when you go to the beach -- it's okay!-- Maybe check your email at a set time just once a day -- it's okay! -- If you are in the middle of something, don't reply to that text from your co-worker/boss/partner/friend/teenage kids until you are done -- it's okay! -- Going away? Then skip the weekly check-in meeting/conference call where no one really says anything important anyway -- it's okay! -- Get up early and go for a walk/run by yourself. Go sit somewhere and read a book. Take a nap. Be mindful. Do something you enjoy and don't feel guilty about it. Don't do something because you think it can't be done without you.Make sure you have some boundaries. IT IS OKAY. And when you get back to reality (whenever that is), make it a point to keep those boundaries in place. They help you create valuable space so you can absolutely crush Q4 and every quarter that follows if you do. Next week this space will be much shorter....I have to practice what I preach. In the meantime, I took it easy on the links this week -- all pretty light reading but good stuff. And definitely worth checking out "The Great Hack" on Netflix. XOXODave