Tell me about the rabbits, George....I was checking in with an FoD this week and the topic came around to our kids. I mentioned that we were having some very difficult conversations about the return to college campuses in the Fall with our oldest son. A snippet of the discussion with my friend: ME: I told him [my son] that he needs to start to accept the reality that, no matter what his friends or the school says, the college experience he signed up for over a year ago will not be happening this Fall. It is all going to be very different.FOD: Wow! That's a pretty harsh thing to say. How did he take it?ME: Well, I guess it had to be said.I don't know. Is it possible one person's "harsh" is just another person's "radically candid"? It's like when Dr. Fauci is interviewed and says "we are not doing something correctly" in referencing the US response to the coronavirus and that he feels "we are going in the wrong direction" is he being negative? Or just calling it like he sees it?I know hearing the words in each of these cases can be disappointing. It's not pleasant saying them either, especially knowing it will likely step on toes or hurt some feelings.But to me, as long as it is appropriately placed, I don't think being direct with an observation like this should be viewed as negative or unhelpful. And this doesn't just apply to parenting or pandemics -- we can become so enamored with what is going on in our own bubbles that it happens in the workplace as well.I've spent most of my career in the financial technology space and periodically get introduced to entrepreneurs, young and old, trying to solve big problems. I love their energy, talking to them about their visions and sharing knowledge from my experiences that might help them on their journey.This was the case a few weeks ago. I was having a conversation with a really smart founder of a small startup. He was so passionate and hyper-focused on his view of their opportunity that he was not seeing potential problem points (which I had previously experienced firsthand) going on outside of it. When this happens, for me, it's a lot like when you are having a conversation with someone as you walk on a sidewalk and you see they are about to step in a pile of dog crap......I just feel compelled not to let it happen. With good intentions, I call it like I see it to raise caution so expectations can be altered and so the other person doesn't step in shit. I believe it's ultimately up to you to do what you will with the information. But sometimes I worry that the urgency in my tone can be too harsh or jarring for some people. Or if my own need to help others avoid an even bigger disappointment down the road somehow overshadows the other person's need to be comfortable in the moment.It's certainly a lot easier to just tell people what they want to hear and not disappoint them at all. But sometimes the reality is impossible to sugar coat if you want to maintain a level of integrity and authenticity.So I guess we all need to ask ourselves: who would you rather have on your team? Someone who would rather make you feel comfortable or someone who will always make sure you don't step in shit? Your call...I promise that the subject line will quickly come in to focus when you work your way down the random selections this week. The NY Post never disappoints. Some good stuff all around too, so check out the other stories out as well if you have a chance.XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #187: a bizarre human-likeā¦
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Tell me about the rabbits, George....I was checking in with an FoD this week and the topic came around to our kids. I mentioned that we were having some very difficult conversations about the return to college campuses in the Fall with our oldest son. A snippet of the discussion with my friend: ME: I told him [my son] that he needs to start to accept the reality that, no matter what his friends or the school says, the college experience he signed up for over a year ago will not be happening this Fall. It is all going to be very different.FOD: Wow! That's a pretty harsh thing to say. How did he take it?ME: Well, I guess it had to be said.I don't know. Is it possible one person's "harsh" is just another person's "radically candid"? It's like when Dr. Fauci is interviewed and says "we are not doing something correctly" in referencing the US response to the coronavirus and that he feels "we are going in the wrong direction" is he being negative? Or just calling it like he sees it?I know hearing the words in each of these cases can be disappointing. It's not pleasant saying them either, especially knowing it will likely step on toes or hurt some feelings.But to me, as long as it is appropriately placed, I don't think being direct with an observation like this should be viewed as negative or unhelpful. And this doesn't just apply to parenting or pandemics -- we can become so enamored with what is going on in our own bubbles that it happens in the workplace as well.I've spent most of my career in the financial technology space and periodically get introduced to entrepreneurs, young and old, trying to solve big problems. I love their energy, talking to them about their visions and sharing knowledge from my experiences that might help them on their journey.This was the case a few weeks ago. I was having a conversation with a really smart founder of a small startup. He was so passionate and hyper-focused on his view of their opportunity that he was not seeing potential problem points (which I had previously experienced firsthand) going on outside of it. When this happens, for me, it's a lot like when you are having a conversation with someone as you walk on a sidewalk and you see they are about to step in a pile of dog crap......I just feel compelled not to let it happen. With good intentions, I call it like I see it to raise caution so expectations can be altered and so the other person doesn't step in shit. I believe it's ultimately up to you to do what you will with the information. But sometimes I worry that the urgency in my tone can be too harsh or jarring for some people. Or if my own need to help others avoid an even bigger disappointment down the road somehow overshadows the other person's need to be comfortable in the moment.It's certainly a lot easier to just tell people what they want to hear and not disappoint them at all. But sometimes the reality is impossible to sugar coat if you want to maintain a level of integrity and authenticity.So I guess we all need to ask ourselves: who would you rather have on your team? Someone who would rather make you feel comfortable or someone who will always make sure you don't step in shit? Your call...I promise that the subject line will quickly come in to focus when you work your way down the random selections this week. The NY Post never disappoints. Some good stuff all around too, so check out the other stories out as well if you have a chance.XOXODave