Some thoughts on being both humble and confident. But first.....Before we jump into this week's preamble, I'd like to first acknowledge the recent passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The news broke just as I was wrapping up this edition, and (I am sure like in many homes in the US) it consumed a good portion of the evening in our house with discussion about the broader significance it will likely have on our country in the coming months and possibly years.As you all know, aside from a very rare diversion, I prefer to keep this space politics free. We all have enough BS being thrown at us from all sides in this environment these days, who needs more in a free, weekend newsletter?That said, I'd also like to highlight something: four years ago a number of Senate leaders issued public statements regarding holding hearings on the replacement of Supreme Court justices during an election year. Whether you agreed then or not, the precedent was set. On Friday, within hours of the Notorious RBG's death, and just 46 days from our election, a statement was issued by Senate leadership on her passing.Exactly 102 words of this statement were used to acknowledge the contributions that this "extraordinary American" made in service to her country. Exactly 112 words of this statement were used to justify the intention to reverse those same Senators' previous stance -- one that, if executed, will directly contradict the precedent they previously (and publicly) set. Think about that. More than half of the statement that was honoring Justice Ginsberg's passing was actually not about her at all. When will we tire of the win-at-all-costs, tribalistic games being played in this country? When do we start demanding that our elected officials exhibit principles like honor, integrity, decency, leadership and unity? I'm tired of this partisan shit that has crippled our government and divided our nation, Friends. And, no matter which way you lean, I think you should be too...It's time we all wake up.And now, on to our regularly scheduled program....Quick question: how can you be both humble and confident?With the college football season now upon us and my alma mater poised to play its first game this Fall, I was reminded of the intro I wrote a few months ago about the qualities I found striking in its newly minted, young, first time head coach. I remembered that humility was the main virtue that immediately stood out from his introductory press conference. It seemed authentic and it immediately drew me in -- here was a guy who was just handed his dream job, and he was understated and genuinely grateful for everything and everyone who contributed to him getting there. But he was no wall flower. You could also tell he was confident that he was going to build a winning program. He just didn't feel the need to oversell it.It was cool to watch, but I was also jealous. In recalling this press conference, I began to reflect on some of the most effective leaders I have encountered in the past and some recent conversations I had been having. I started to wonder about how does one so easily come across as both humble AND confident?Honestly, I personally tend to struggle with this balancing act. I'm not sure if it is my energy, my enthusiasm, perhaps the pace in which I move or talk combined with my competitiveness and my natural aversion to being proven wrong, or what. I know at times I have been told I can seem overconfident -- even when I am not trying to be.As I dug into it a bit, I began to see a pattern emerge where I am more wired to get positive reinforcement particularly when I am selling an idea, a product or even myself. I look for cues like nods, smiles or engagement that shows that someone is buying what I am saying. Not getting the gratification? It seems like my natural instinct is to sell my point/service/myself more and sell hard. Does this happen to you?Instead, with certain people and situations, I am realizing that it can be more effective to change tactics by looking to persuade less and learn more. It's not important to score a point every time. As witnessed with my university's head football coach, you sometimes can more easily score points and exude more confidence by listening and learning more than selling. Now, it remains to be seen if that strategy can also translate into success on the gridiron. We'll find out soon enough, but if so, we'll have a great Fall!Enjoy your weekend. You'll find not one but TWO stories mentioning Taco Bell this week -- I don't know how you got so lucky! XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #196: taco bell vineyards
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Some thoughts on being both humble and confident. But first.....Before we jump into this week's preamble, I'd like to first acknowledge the recent passing of Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsberg. The news broke just as I was wrapping up this edition, and (I am sure like in many homes in the US) it consumed a good portion of the evening in our house with discussion about the broader significance it will likely have on our country in the coming months and possibly years.As you all know, aside from a very rare diversion, I prefer to keep this space politics free. We all have enough BS being thrown at us from all sides in this environment these days, who needs more in a free, weekend newsletter?That said, I'd also like to highlight something: four years ago a number of Senate leaders issued public statements regarding holding hearings on the replacement of Supreme Court justices during an election year. Whether you agreed then or not, the precedent was set. On Friday, within hours of the Notorious RBG's death, and just 46 days from our election, a statement was issued by Senate leadership on her passing.Exactly 102 words of this statement were used to acknowledge the contributions that this "extraordinary American" made in service to her country. Exactly 112 words of this statement were used to justify the intention to reverse those same Senators' previous stance -- one that, if executed, will directly contradict the precedent they previously (and publicly) set. Think about that. More than half of the statement that was honoring Justice Ginsberg's passing was actually not about her at all. When will we tire of the win-at-all-costs, tribalistic games being played in this country? When do we start demanding that our elected officials exhibit principles like honor, integrity, decency, leadership and unity? I'm tired of this partisan shit that has crippled our government and divided our nation, Friends. And, no matter which way you lean, I think you should be too...It's time we all wake up.And now, on to our regularly scheduled program....Quick question: how can you be both humble and confident?With the college football season now upon us and my alma mater poised to play its first game this Fall, I was reminded of the intro I wrote a few months ago about the qualities I found striking in its newly minted, young, first time head coach. I remembered that humility was the main virtue that immediately stood out from his introductory press conference. It seemed authentic and it immediately drew me in -- here was a guy who was just handed his dream job, and he was understated and genuinely grateful for everything and everyone who contributed to him getting there. But he was no wall flower. You could also tell he was confident that he was going to build a winning program. He just didn't feel the need to oversell it.It was cool to watch, but I was also jealous. In recalling this press conference, I began to reflect on some of the most effective leaders I have encountered in the past and some recent conversations I had been having. I started to wonder about how does one so easily come across as both humble AND confident?Honestly, I personally tend to struggle with this balancing act. I'm not sure if it is my energy, my enthusiasm, perhaps the pace in which I move or talk combined with my competitiveness and my natural aversion to being proven wrong, or what. I know at times I have been told I can seem overconfident -- even when I am not trying to be.As I dug into it a bit, I began to see a pattern emerge where I am more wired to get positive reinforcement particularly when I am selling an idea, a product or even myself. I look for cues like nods, smiles or engagement that shows that someone is buying what I am saying. Not getting the gratification? It seems like my natural instinct is to sell my point/service/myself more and sell hard. Does this happen to you?Instead, with certain people and situations, I am realizing that it can be more effective to change tactics by looking to persuade less and learn more. It's not important to score a point every time. As witnessed with my university's head football coach, you sometimes can more easily score points and exude more confidence by listening and learning more than selling. Now, it remains to be seen if that strategy can also translate into success on the gridiron. We'll find out soon enough, but if so, we'll have a great Fall!Enjoy your weekend. You'll find not one but TWO stories mentioning Taco Bell this week -- I don't know how you got so lucky! XOXODave