All aboard the Struggle BusIf you know or interact with any Gen Z people at work or in your family, you know they basically think and communicate through memes. Our family group chat is essentially one long thread of them. Memes are combinations of words and images, usually shared on social media, that convey snarky thoughts.Fast forward to recently when my wife and I were catching up with our oldest child. At 23 years old, she is either a really young Millennial or a really old Gen Z -- though her life long affinity for flannel, hair bands and Miss Cleo has always made us wonder if she is not the reincarnation of some lost slacker from the early 90s.Either way, during our conversation she brought up a meme that I refer to in the subtitle this week: The Struggle Bus.We were talking about her siblings and she, as oldest children can do, was offering her opinions on how we should be parenting the others. Apparently, a couple of college level psychology courses and a Snapchat account is all it takes to become a Gen Z whisperer and expert judge on best practices for raising children.....who new?She feels as if we are not effectively teaching her brothers about navigating the real world -- particularly drawing her ire was her 21 year old, selfie obsessed, political activist brother who just returned from a semester abroad in Europe.To say there has been a bit of a competitive friction between the two of them is putting it mildly. Our daughter has always shunned convention in her path through life -- gravitating toward being different and independent versus being part of a crowd. This has created its own set of challenges for her over the years, which has given her, let's say, a "unique" perspective on how the world works.The brother in question, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. He has always tended to wear whatever or do whatever the crowd is doing. With his senior year of college looming, he is following suit and acting similarly annoying and clueless about his future as others his age.I guess he thought complaining to his judgmental sister about the pressure he was feeling and his stress was a wise choice. She was having nothing of it."That boy needs to take a ride on the Struggle Bus," she announced to my wife and me through gritted, perfectly straightened teeth, firmly standing on her Amazon emblazoned soapbox in our air conditioned, suburban kitchen. I couldn't hold in my laughter and amusement. I was waiting on the edge of my seat to see if she would also tell us that her brother needs to understand that we didn't land on Plymouth Rock, but Plymouth Rock landed on her....That said, the Struggle Bus IS real, and there is some truth to the wisdom my daughter shared that day. We probably all do need to take a ride on the Struggle Bus from time to time. And yes, I agree with the sentiment about her brother as well.I know this because my parents bought me a ticket on the Struggle Bus when I was about my son's age. I was living with friends in an apartment my junior year of college. We all chose to prioritize our food money for our social endeavors -- so occasionally we had to stretch things and were left with just ramen and PBJ for our meals. I called my mom one time looking for a bit of maternal "relief" -- hoping to appeal to her worry that her son was not getting three good square meals a day. That got shot down. My parents knew my game and knew the perfect remedy was a ride on the Struggle Bus. I figured things out pretty quickly soon after and figured out how to make more money so I could both eat AND party well. It is one thing to be told about how difficult something can be -- it is another thing to live it and experience it yourself and have to manage the discomfort and adversity that goes along with it. Sometimes we consciously avoid doing the hard things (often things we know we need to do) because we don't want to feel uncomfortable. But it's those hard things that make us improve, be resourceful and grow more resilient. I believe that taking a ride on the Struggle Bus, whether you are the captain or just a passenger and even if it is for a short time, gives us a different, more well rounded perspective on the world around us.Take a look at your own situation, career and personal life. When was the last time you took a ride on a Struggle Bus (by choice or as a result of circumstance)? Think about how that shaped your perspective on where you are at today. They say that, through parenting, you often learn valuable lessons from your kids. I was thinking about that as I watched my daughter head out to her car to go meet up with some friends. Suddenly there was a distinct ping of an incoming text to my phone -- it was a request from her to "borrow" some money so she could get some gas......yes, Friends and fellow parents, further proof that The Struggle Bus is real...Some really good stories this week if you have some time to check them out -- yes, there are a few longish ones, but, trust me, they are worth it. Onto to August!XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #294: things left in books
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All aboard the Struggle BusIf you know or interact with any Gen Z people at work or in your family, you know they basically think and communicate through memes. Our family group chat is essentially one long thread of them. Memes are combinations of words and images, usually shared on social media, that convey snarky thoughts.Fast forward to recently when my wife and I were catching up with our oldest child. At 23 years old, she is either a really young Millennial or a really old Gen Z -- though her life long affinity for flannel, hair bands and Miss Cleo has always made us wonder if she is not the reincarnation of some lost slacker from the early 90s.Either way, during our conversation she brought up a meme that I refer to in the subtitle this week: The Struggle Bus.We were talking about her siblings and she, as oldest children can do, was offering her opinions on how we should be parenting the others. Apparently, a couple of college level psychology courses and a Snapchat account is all it takes to become a Gen Z whisperer and expert judge on best practices for raising children.....who new?She feels as if we are not effectively teaching her brothers about navigating the real world -- particularly drawing her ire was her 21 year old, selfie obsessed, political activist brother who just returned from a semester abroad in Europe.To say there has been a bit of a competitive friction between the two of them is putting it mildly. Our daughter has always shunned convention in her path through life -- gravitating toward being different and independent versus being part of a crowd. This has created its own set of challenges for her over the years, which has given her, let's say, a "unique" perspective on how the world works.The brother in question, on the other hand, is quite the opposite. He has always tended to wear whatever or do whatever the crowd is doing. With his senior year of college looming, he is following suit and acting similarly annoying and clueless about his future as others his age.I guess he thought complaining to his judgmental sister about the pressure he was feeling and his stress was a wise choice. She was having nothing of it."That boy needs to take a ride on the Struggle Bus," she announced to my wife and me through gritted, perfectly straightened teeth, firmly standing on her Amazon emblazoned soapbox in our air conditioned, suburban kitchen. I couldn't hold in my laughter and amusement. I was waiting on the edge of my seat to see if she would also tell us that her brother needs to understand that we didn't land on Plymouth Rock, but Plymouth Rock landed on her....That said, the Struggle Bus IS real, and there is some truth to the wisdom my daughter shared that day. We probably all do need to take a ride on the Struggle Bus from time to time. And yes, I agree with the sentiment about her brother as well.I know this because my parents bought me a ticket on the Struggle Bus when I was about my son's age. I was living with friends in an apartment my junior year of college. We all chose to prioritize our food money for our social endeavors -- so occasionally we had to stretch things and were left with just ramen and PBJ for our meals. I called my mom one time looking for a bit of maternal "relief" -- hoping to appeal to her worry that her son was not getting three good square meals a day. That got shot down. My parents knew my game and knew the perfect remedy was a ride on the Struggle Bus. I figured things out pretty quickly soon after and figured out how to make more money so I could both eat AND party well. It is one thing to be told about how difficult something can be -- it is another thing to live it and experience it yourself and have to manage the discomfort and adversity that goes along with it. Sometimes we consciously avoid doing the hard things (often things we know we need to do) because we don't want to feel uncomfortable. But it's those hard things that make us improve, be resourceful and grow more resilient. I believe that taking a ride on the Struggle Bus, whether you are the captain or just a passenger and even if it is for a short time, gives us a different, more well rounded perspective on the world around us.Take a look at your own situation, career and personal life. When was the last time you took a ride on a Struggle Bus (by choice or as a result of circumstance)? Think about how that shaped your perspective on where you are at today. They say that, through parenting, you often learn valuable lessons from your kids. I was thinking about that as I watched my daughter head out to her car to go meet up with some friends. Suddenly there was a distinct ping of an incoming text to my phone -- it was a request from her to "borrow" some money so she could get some gas......yes, Friends and fellow parents, further proof that The Struggle Bus is real...Some really good stories this week if you have some time to check them out -- yes, there are a few longish ones, but, trust me, they are worth it. Onto to August!XOXODave