Friends of Dave #420: 🍁 blame canada 🇨🇦
Four simple words you can say to help motivate someone.
I spent some time connecting with family over the recent holidays.
As I get older, I tend to look forward to those moments more than anything else at that time of year, particularly when it comes to connecting with my kids.
We laugh. We argue. We play board games. We reminisce. We talk. We do silly things. We do serious things.
And through it all, I get a glimpse at how things are going with each of them.
Of course, as one does when they check in with those closest to them, you are able to get even closer to where they currently are, even if it is for a short period of time.
If you are like me, when you see that someone you care about might be struggling or are being challenged by something in their lives, the first thing you want to try to do is help fix it for them.
No one enjoys seeing people struggle.
But I have come to realize that my reaction in those moments is not necessarily for them — it is actually for me.
I feel like I am failing as a parent or friend or partner if I don’t help them — even if they don’t ask for it. For me, if I’m not doing something to make it easier for them when I can, then what kind of person am I?
Ever feel that way?
Well, next time you encounter someone close to you that may be stuck in a rut or maybe acting as their own worst enemy, instead of inserting yourself in the wrong way that likely will backfire on you, here’s four simple but powerful words you can say to help them without getting in the middle of their business:
“I believe in you.”
Think about the times when you have been in a funk. You don’t know what to do. You feel like no matter what, you are going to do the wrong thing. You become afraid that you will make a mistake.
You are doubting yourself and your abilities. Questioning everything. You don’t need someone else to come in and point out all of the things you could do or should do or woulda, coulda, shoulda done.
What you need is someone in your corner to just to stand by you and give you a vote of confidence.
Think about how powerful it can be when someone says, “I believe in you.”
It’s empathetic.
It’s kind.
It gives you hope.
It puts wind your sails.
It makes you feel capable.
It gives you the motivation to keep trying.
Someone else thinks you can do it — and it gives you permission to say to yourself, “okay, I guess I can figure this out.”
When you say those four words, you ARE helping someone who is having a hard time — without stepping in to ease your pain from watching them struggle and owning the problem yourself.
When someone believes in you, it makes you feel like you can do anything.
What do you think?
XOXO
Dave
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