Friends of Dave #61: Trust Me
When does "trust me" get you the peck on the cheek?
Everyone in a long term relationship has dealt with the following situation at least once over the course of their time together: couple is getting dressed to go out. One person tries on an outfit and asks the other the dreaded "How does this make me look? Does it make me look fat?" Now, when it is you on the receiving end of that query, it usually means you are in checkmate. No answer you give seems to be the right one -- if you nicely say it does, in fact, make your mate look fat, feelings might get hurt, even if you are trying to do the right thing. At worst....all hell will likely break loose. But if you reply, 'no, trust me, you look great!'...you may get a peck on the cheek and a 'thank you', but usually they dismiss it, and just change into another outfit anyway.
What a dilemma: you were asked for your opinion, when really, your loved one didn't necessarily want to hear it. They really just wanted validation of their feelings of insecurity at that moment. This is par for the course when you are life partners with someone. Over time, you learn to gauge the person, the situation, you answer accordingly (which means sometimes, 'yeah, that might not be the most flattering outfit' is well received), and don't take any of it personally.
So how do you handle it when this happens in business? When money is on the line? Let's say someone hires you for your expertise in order to specifically tackle a project, solve a problem, design a process, hire a team, be a change agent, deliver a result, leverage your domain knowledge, etc. You start to work together but all of a sudden it becomes clear -- they are dismissing your opinion. They don't want to leverage your expertise or care about your track record. They never really wanted your input (especially if it is radically different than theirs) -- turns out, they were simply feeling unsure about how to proceed and needed validation from someone else to make them feel better.
Trust is critical to building a winning team, partnership or working relationship. It can be gained quickly if everyone is secure in their positions, are aware of their strengths and weaknesses, and sees a similar path to success. But if this is not the case, establishing trust in business can take time -- which, unfortunately, is not always a luxury when you are reaching to make a number, ship a product on deadline, or launch a business. So then you quickly learn to get on the same page, gauge situations, answer accordingly and not take things personally. Maybe then you get the peck on the cheek. Otherwise, you better cut bait -- quick before it gets ugly...
I'd like to think we know each other well enough by now, Friends of Dave, that when I note an article is a "must read" or a "good one" that you get me. I picked out a bunch of them for you this week -- turns out the first three are long, but worth it if you have the time and interest. And definitely check out the Bloomberg Mall game at the end.....Trust me.
XOXO
Dave
3 Long Reads to Get You Thinking...
China's Dystopian Tech Could Be Contagious (long read) — www.theatlantic.com
...the Chinese government has become convinced that a far greater degree of social control is both necessary and possible. It now has access to a set of tools for managing the complexity of contemporary life that it believes will deliver better, surer, and more reliable results than anything produced by the model of order from below.
Part 1984, part Minority Report but the concept of "social credit" is in fact real in China. Fascinating and scary how the data we create could be used like a FICO score to determine what you can buy, where can you live, and where you can go.
Tech broke our relationship with wilderness: can it mend it too? (long read) — aeon.co
Picture green landscapes populated by an army of self-guided bots, responding to the shifting needs of the environment in which they’re embedded, and evolving alongside it, too.
Robo-bees and drone-seeded forests -- what role will technology play in helping us save the planet it enabled us to ruin?
REPORT: Changing Finance and the Internet (long read) — group.growvc.com
FINTECH FRIENDS: This is a must read. Extremely comprehensive paper by Grow VC and Oracle on a range of topics like blockchain, APIs and data, AI. Something for everyone (pages 23 thru 35 focuses on data and AI).
3 To Keep You Ahead of the Curve At Work...
Why Strong CEO's Have a Remarkable Impact on Sales
Another good one written by Friend of Dave Christian Farber. Leadership, head cheerleader, defender of price and key champion of a solutions value are all huge benefits an engaged and active CEO can bring to a sales process.
What to do when your customers ask for a discount (and why you shouldn’t give them one) — blog.close.io
For the record: I hate discounts and free trials. HATE THEM. Sales people often believe they need to give discounts, or lose the deal. Here's what to say when a prospect asks for a discount, and how to win more deals without lowering prices.
Pharma wades into the world of virtual reality marketing — www.biopharmadive.com
Really cool look at how drug companies are leveraging cutting edge technology to make marketing of new drugs to physicians more immersive. Shows how important customer experience is going to be going forward, and the lengths marketers are going to need to go to maximize the opportunity.
A Couple of Random Ones...
Study: students believe they are prepared for the workplace; employers disagree — www.insidehighered.com
In related news....parental calls to employers have gone up 347% since this study came out. Thanks to Friend of Dave Ed McDonnell for sharing this on his Twitter feed!
Movie Theaters Are Dying Because They Mostly Suck — 500ish.com
Yeah, you know what sucks more? Cleaning up the popcorn and spilled soft drinks in the family room after Family Movie Night.....Netflix and Chill? More like Netflix and Mr. Clean....
And The Last Word....
The American Mall Game: A 2018 Retail Challenge — www.bloomberg.com
Who knew Bloomberg was also a gaming company? Check out this interesting (and oddly addicting) 80's style computer game done by Bloomberg as a clever interactive companion to the story they did a few weeks back on the death of clothing and the decline of retail. Drives home their point while highlighting the challenges facing big box retail.