Friends of Dave #69: Decisions, Decisions
Rainy college tours can teach a lot about a decision making process.
We just wrapped up college tour week for our second child this week. A lot of the parental excitement, anxieties and over involvement are behind us from the first go around. I am proud to say we managed to escape with minimal arguments, eye rolls, tantrums and no tears were shed (aside from audible sobs from parents during info sessions when they got to the slide highlighting tuition costs). Those who have gone through it know what I mean.
Despite the good feels, the major damper this week was the weather. It was a cold, rainy, snowy and miserable week in New England. It would be one thing if it was winter, but it is now mid April -- almost exam time at most schools. Our visits were devoid of the typical highlights or moments that might help expose the character of each institution. We did not see one group of kids playing frisbee on a grassy quad. No blowing off steam with an intense game of quidditch (by the way, every school seems to mention this as a club "sport" unique to their institution). No bros in shorts. No girls wearing flip flops. The tours mostly consisted of brisk walks under cover from a golf umbrella or jacket hood from one building to another to get warm or dry -- not ideal for a kid with a big decision ahead of them in the coming year.
For a water logged parent who has seen it and done it, it's easy to want to bail on these tours (most of which, you quickly learn, are pretty much carbon copies of each other but just in different locations) after maybe 20 minutes and retreat to the warm car. But for your wide eyed teenager, every single bit of it is new...and can be overwhelming on a lot of different levels. There is so much for them to consider, get excited about and to stress over. And while you know your kid and what kind of campus, academic program, and distance from home would be best for them, this ultimately is their experience. How do you constructively help them process everything and start to decide what they want to do with their lives?
My wife and I are still nursing battle scars from the first time around. So before we went off on our first trip, we asked our son to do some research and prioritize what he thought were the most important attributes for him in a school. Didn't matter what they were -- obviously programs of study were key, but they could be as simple as wanting a school with a football team or traditional gothic buildings or no closer than 2 hours from home. We then had him come up with the list of schools he wanted to see this week based on his criteria. During tours we said very little to him -- we gave him space to absorb it all. When we were done, we grabbed a bite in one of the "award winning" dining halls at each institution and over a burger or pizza and we conversationally asked him questions (some leading questions, and some open ended ones) that made him think about his priorities in the context of what we saw. What surprised you about this school? What did you like most? What did you dislike? Most importantly, we exercised as much patience as we could muster to avoid giving our opinions -- honestly, at this point it didn't matter what we thought because we knew it would most likely be wrong...
Over the week we could see some priorities shifting and others becoming more clear. We learned a city campus without gothic buildings was not so bad, but a road cutting through the middle of a more suburban campus was "super annoying". He admitted that his original "dream" school might not be as dreamy as he first thought. And he now has a better sense of what he needs to do to get into some of his favorite choices.
No doubt there still is a journey ahead of us. Interests are invariably going to change and we all have a lot more to learn, but it was definitely a good start. As with any big decision that needs to be made, a bit of patience, trust, good communication, adaptability, and proper prioritization will go a long way to ensuring the best result. And if not....well, he can always transfer...
Hope you like the selections below. I think those of you into music will especially appreciate the new/old Prince song -- take a listen if you can. Have a great weekend.
XOXO
Dave
3 To Get You Thinking...
Forget being boldly decisive – let your brain take its time — aeon.co Quick decision-making might seem bold, but the agony of indecision is your brain’s way of making a better choice
Do You Have “Advantage Blindness”? — hbr.org
By believing success is due only to hard work and personal talent, individuals don’t see how systems convey advantages to them.
Regardless of how you may feel about privilege in the workplace, it is hard to deny that there are still many areas of inequality. Strong leaders that are able to recognize and understand the impact that advantages have on teams can build stronger organizations. Eye opening read.
Is Human Progress an Illusion? — www.fs.blog
Is the history of humanity really a march towards the heavens? Towards greater civilization? Or is it just a farce? Thought provoking read, as usual, from the Farnam Street blog.
3 For Your Day Job...
How far are we from artificial “general” intelligence, really? — mattturck.com
Leaving aside physical harm, progress in AI leads to a whole series of more immediate dangers that need to be thoroughly thought through – from significant job losses across large industries (back offices, trucking) to a complete distortion of our sense of reality (when fake videos and audio can be easily created).
This is a bit of a long one from VC Matt Turck, but worth reading, especially if you are interested in understanding the wide ranging residual effects of the AI train leaving the station.
How To Fix The Biggest Issues Plaguing Your Sales Team Right Now — medium.com
Some great straight talk here about the farce of quota setting and how most organizations fail to effectively hire the right sales people. Some good, common sense remedies are offered as well.
What Every SaaS Business Needs to Know About User Adoption — labs.openviewpartners.com
GREAT READ: User adoption is the bedrock of any best-in-class customer success strategy because it sets the foundation for users’ understanding of and success with your company and your product. This foundation is not built to get rid of churn but to eliminate it from happening in the first place.
3 Random Ones...
The Cognitive Benefits Of Chewing Gum — www.wired.com
Sadly this article does not cover the cognitive effects of snapping gum....
12 Wicked Awesome Movies Set In Boston — www.chowdaheadz.com
Note: not included on this list is the movie with the most Boston accents this year.
So Long, Yinz: Why Midwestern City Accents Are Fading — www.citylab.com
You betcha. Yah, that's a good one.
And The Last Word....
NEW RELEASE: Prince - Nothing Compares 2 U
Many people do not realize that Prince wrote the song that was popularized by Sinead O'Connor (and also exceptionally covered by the late Chris Cornell). This week, Prince's estate released the soulful, original, raw recording he made along with previously unseen rehearsal footage of Prince & The Revolution from the summer of 1984. If you have not heard it, well worth a listen. Enjoy.