Friends of Dave #76: Hope Is Not a Strategy
No matter how tightly you close your eyes and wish, it won't change things.
This week I was speaking to a friend of mine who has been through the wringer trying to solve a business problem for the better part of the last year. They have gotten to a bit of a crossroads partially as a result of their own decisions (and indecisiveness at some points) and in part due to some factors beyond their control. The best way to describe it: you know when a cartoon character has been boxing and gets hit so many times that they can barely stand in a corner, their eyes are crossed, tight circles swirling above their head with little birds tweeting all around them -- that's this person right now.
It's kinda painful when you see anyone in that state (you know, like when someone loses their mojo) -- not to mention when it is someone you like and respect. As our conversation continued, I felt compelled to ask what they thought they wanted to do next, mainly because I just wanted to help.
Here is a high level summary of how it went (I am paraphrasing to avoid sharing identifying details):
ME: Man, this totally sucks. What's the next move now?
FRIEND: I actually think I am okay. This isn't so bad. I feel pretty good and I have this idea {which, trust me Friends of Dave, is not all that different from the previous idea they had that got them to this state} that I think might work this time.
ME: Yeah.....ah.....but isn't that a sorta similar approach to what you did last time? How do you think the outcome will be different with this idea?
FRIEND: I don't know, but I'm really excited about this and I just need some time to test it out. I'm pretty sure I can make this work, plus I just don't have the energy to regroup and come up with any better ideas. I hope this is the answer.
ME: [blurting] Uh...I hate to break it to you, but hope is not a strategy.
Admitting defeat can be hard. On top of that, completely changing an approach or strategy does take energy, thought, focus and determination. And when you feel completely beaten down, it is near impossible to muster the courage to make difficult decisions and alter course.
I totally get it -- my friend just wants to get a breath. And no doubt, taking a more familiar approach right now might seem comforting. But simply employing hope as the strategy with no real change or plan to get to a different outcome, no matter how hard one closes their eyes and wishes on it, will undoubtedly lead to the same, disappointing result in the long run. If you want the best chance to ensure a desired result, you have to find the will to make the difficult decisions and course corrections necessary, no matter how uncomfortable or scary they may be.
Looking back, I now realize that maybe the tough love wasn't the best tact for me to take at that moment. I probably should have said "Uh huh" and just moved on to a different topic and picked up the discussion at a later time. That definitely would have been a more empathetic thing for me to do.
But, hey, I am human. Witnessing my friend drive themselves down this muddled path over the past year or so was brutal. What I really wanted to say was "SNAP OUT OF IT!" So I guess, in my mind, pointing out that "hope is not a strategy" was just a much nicer way to say it....
And with that....I "hope" you enjoy the selections below. For you horse racing fans, a reminder that post time for the Belmont Stakes on Saturday is 6:37pm ET. Justify is looking solid for a run at the Triple Crown -- should be a great race. Enjoy the weekend!
XOXO
Dave
3 To Get You Thinking...
You’re simply not that big a deal: now isn’t that a relief? — aeon.co
Maybe the most compassionate attitude you can take toward yourself is to stop obsessing over yourself.
As written in Friends of Dave #73 a few weeks ago, we may be extraordinary, but most of us are not special. Recognizing that we are just like everyone else frees us to move on from the mistakes we make.
Stay At 17 Inches. — www.sperrybaseballlife.com
” … what do we do when our best player shows up late to practice? When our team rules forbid facial hair and a guy shows up unshaven? What if he gets caught drinking? Do we hold him accountable? Or do we change the rules to fit him, do we widen home plate?
You cannot be successful without discipline or accountability. Great lessons here on leadership from a speech from 1996 by baseball coach John Scolinos (skim the first few intro paragraphs to get to the good part). Many thanks to longtime Friend of Dave Kristine Muccigrosso for the share!
Why Doesn't Anyone Answer the Phone Anymore? — www.theatlantic.com
For reasons both generational and cultural, the importance of the telephone as it was originally intended is disappearing. Interesting look at what this means for society and for commerce.
4 For Your Day Job...
Sustaining vs. Innovative Disruption
Disruption always starts at the low end and will always be a threat to existing businesses. Sustaining innovations need some other hook to really make a difference.
Jamie Dimon Is Not Messing Around
Interesting look at how the JPMorgan Chase CEO is trying to cement his legacy by pushing to turn his bank into a technology firm before the technology firms turn into banks.
Amazon Doesn't Dominate Private-Label Sales (Yet)
If it seems like Amazon dominates most online retail categories, that’s because it does. But despite the online retailer's push into many private-label categories, it is still viewed as a source of staples rather than style. Be ready for the REAL unfair advantage they well get when people start buying their store brands...
REPORT: Why Marketers Who Build Trust With Their CFOs Will Succeed
By proving the impact of digital marketing spend, both in terms of sales and in a company’s broader marketing efforts, CMOs can help CFOs understand the value they’re getting for an often very large investment. They can become confident they will retain, or perhaps even increase, their budgets.
Everyone knows about how closely sales and marketing need to work together to be successful. But as a CMO, I always find that one of my most important relationships on the executive team is with the CFO (along with the CTO and head of HR). Now that marketing is being increasingly seen as a "offensive" weapon for a company and a crucial investment in revenue growth, this synergy is more important than ever. Great report done by Viant that I have posted on my website for you marketers (and CFOs) to view (PDF only).
And Your Random Ones...
What Was the Point of Elevator Music? — www.atlasobscura.com
No, it's not to get that Backstreet Boys song stuck in your head!
Not Enough Cows Are Getting Massages to Produce Luxury Leather — www.bloomberg.com
I'm just imagining the LinkedIn profile of the person who has carefully crafted a career as a "Cow Masseuse"....
Would you travel on a windowless plane? — www.abc.net.au
For me, if it meant there were no middle seats, then absolutely.
And The Last Word....
Who Killed Sears? 50 Years on the Road to Ruin
There was a time, before malls, websites and email marketing, when Sears completely dominated the retail landscape. But over the last half century, retailers like Walmart, changing consumer habits, the internet and a hedge fund manager becoming CEO have transformed Sears more into a punchline. Good to revisit the cautionary tale of what brought this former juggernaut to it's knees.