No matter how tightly you close your eyes and wish, it won't change things.This week I was speaking to a friend of mine who has been through the wringer trying to solve a business problem for the better part of the last year. They have gotten to a bit of a crossroads partially as a result of their own decisions (and indecisiveness at some points) and in part due to some factors beyond their control. The best way to describe it: you know when a cartoon character has been boxing and gets hit so many times that they can barely stand in a corner, their eyes are crossed, tight circles swirling above their head with little birds tweeting all around them -- that's this person right now.It's kinda painful when you see anyone in that state (you know, like when someone loses their mojo) -- not to mention when it is someone you like and respect. As our conversation continued, I felt compelled to ask what they thought they wanted to do next, mainly because I just wanted to help. Here is a high level summary of how it went (I am paraphrasing to avoid sharing identifying details):ME: Man, this totally sucks. What's the next move now?FRIEND: I actually think I am okay. This isn't so bad. I feel pretty good and I have this idea {which, trust me Friends of Dave, is not all that different from the previous idea they had that got them to this state} that I think might work this time.ME: Yeah.....ah.....but isn't that a sorta similar approach to what you did last time? How do you think the outcome will be different with this idea? FRIEND: I don't know, but I'm really excited about this and I just need some time to test it out. I'm pretty sure I can make this work, plus I just don't have the energy to regroup and come up with any better ideas. I hope this is the answer.ME: [blurting] Uh...I hate to break it to you, but hope is not a strategy. Admitting defeat can be hard. On top of that, completely changing an approach or strategy does take energy, thought, focus and determination. And when you feel completely beaten down, it is near impossible to muster the courage to make difficult decisions and alter course. I totally get it -- my friend just wants to get a breath. And no doubt, taking a more familiar approach right now might seem comforting. But simply employing hope as the strategy with no real change or plan to get to a different outcome, no matter how hard one closes their eyes and wishes on it, will undoubtedly lead to the same, disappointing result in the long run. If you want the best chance to ensure a desired result, you have to find the will to make the difficult decisions and course corrections necessary, no matter how uncomfortable or scary they may be.Looking back, I now realize that maybe the tough love wasn't the best tact for me to take at that moment. I probably should have said "Uh huh" and just moved on to a different topic and picked up the discussion at a later time. That definitely would have been a more empathetic thing for me to do. But, hey, I am human. Witnessing my friend drive themselves down this muddled path over the past year or so was brutal. What I really wanted to say was "SNAP OUT OF IT!" So I guess, in my mind, pointing out that "hope is not a strategy" was just a much nicer way to say it....And with that....I "hope" you enjoy the selections below. For you horse racing fans, a reminder that post time for the Belmont Stakes on Saturday is 6:37pm ET. Justify is looking solid for a run at the Triple Crown -- should be a great race. Enjoy the weekend!XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #76: Hope Is Not a Strategy
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No matter how tightly you close your eyes and wish, it won't change things.This week I was speaking to a friend of mine who has been through the wringer trying to solve a business problem for the better part of the last year. They have gotten to a bit of a crossroads partially as a result of their own decisions (and indecisiveness at some points) and in part due to some factors beyond their control. The best way to describe it: you know when a cartoon character has been boxing and gets hit so many times that they can barely stand in a corner, their eyes are crossed, tight circles swirling above their head with little birds tweeting all around them -- that's this person right now.It's kinda painful when you see anyone in that state (you know, like when someone loses their mojo) -- not to mention when it is someone you like and respect. As our conversation continued, I felt compelled to ask what they thought they wanted to do next, mainly because I just wanted to help. Here is a high level summary of how it went (I am paraphrasing to avoid sharing identifying details):ME: Man, this totally sucks. What's the next move now?FRIEND: I actually think I am okay. This isn't so bad. I feel pretty good and I have this idea {which, trust me Friends of Dave, is not all that different from the previous idea they had that got them to this state} that I think might work this time.ME: Yeah.....ah.....but isn't that a sorta similar approach to what you did last time? How do you think the outcome will be different with this idea? FRIEND: I don't know, but I'm really excited about this and I just need some time to test it out. I'm pretty sure I can make this work, plus I just don't have the energy to regroup and come up with any better ideas. I hope this is the answer.ME: [blurting] Uh...I hate to break it to you, but hope is not a strategy. Admitting defeat can be hard. On top of that, completely changing an approach or strategy does take energy, thought, focus and determination. And when you feel completely beaten down, it is near impossible to muster the courage to make difficult decisions and alter course. I totally get it -- my friend just wants to get a breath. And no doubt, taking a more familiar approach right now might seem comforting. But simply employing hope as the strategy with no real change or plan to get to a different outcome, no matter how hard one closes their eyes and wishes on it, will undoubtedly lead to the same, disappointing result in the long run. If you want the best chance to ensure a desired result, you have to find the will to make the difficult decisions and course corrections necessary, no matter how uncomfortable or scary they may be.Looking back, I now realize that maybe the tough love wasn't the best tact for me to take at that moment. I probably should have said "Uh huh" and just moved on to a different topic and picked up the discussion at a later time. That definitely would have been a more empathetic thing for me to do. But, hey, I am human. Witnessing my friend drive themselves down this muddled path over the past year or so was brutal. What I really wanted to say was "SNAP OUT OF IT!" So I guess, in my mind, pointing out that "hope is not a strategy" was just a much nicer way to say it....And with that....I "hope" you enjoy the selections below. For you horse racing fans, a reminder that post time for the Belmont Stakes on Saturday is 6:37pm ET. Justify is looking solid for a run at the Triple Crown -- should be a great race. Enjoy the weekend!XOXODave