Able to make you THINK you can leap tall buildings in a single bound...No Friends of Dave, this week's intro is not another one about breakfast foods. It's about one of the biggest influences on all of human decision making: the ego. Think about the adjectives commonly attached to describe the word "ego." They are almost never positive. You have things like "big ego", "fragile ego", "inflated ego", "bruised ego" and the currently trending (and most unpopular) "male ego." I challenge you to find a descriptor that paints it in a positive light. Eggos...sure you can come up with a plethora of good adjectives. But not egos.So why all of the ego hate (especially seeing that none of us are impervious to being seduced by our own ego from time to time)? It's generally because when we think about the ego, it is when someone does not seem to have it in check. Maybe we show our disdain as a response because we are passing judgement on the other person's inability to control their ego -- much like we might do when we see a parent with a misbehaving child in a grocery store aisle. Add to this the element of someone being in a position of power, and the judgement is magnified.To a certain extent, all leaders are prone to being ego driven. It's the nature of the position. But the most effective leaders -- the ones we like to follow -- are the ones who can not only influence others, but can master themselves and their feelings in such a way that their ego does not play too large a part in how they regularly operate. They have an understanding, and in some ways, an inner peace, that what is going on around them is not all about them. They embrace that they are merely playing a part in something bigger, and use their influence not to first protect themselves, but to actually allow themselves to be vulnerable in order to benefit everyone else. Next to authenticity, I'm learning that vulnerability (which should not confused with weakness) may be a trait that people value most in strong leaders.My thoughts on all of this happened to intersect with my reading of one of the more interesting articles I shared this week about what makes a great leader. It's a fairly quick read and I strongly suggest checking it out. If you are interested, I also suggest taking this quick survey (which is also embedded in the article) to learn where you are on the open mindedness and intellectual humility spectrum. I think you may find the results insightful. It seems that the keys to intellectual humility lie not in our ability to hold tight and protect our egos, but to let them go -- hence the title of this week's newsletter.Lots of other great stuff to check out here, including another new music selection for you to add to your Spotify playlist. Have a great weekend -- and a great Father's Day to all of the Dads. And, by the way, this week marks the official start of summer....and the return of shorter days...Winter is coming....XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #77: Leggo My Ego
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Able to make you THINK you can leap tall buildings in a single bound...No Friends of Dave, this week's intro is not another one about breakfast foods. It's about one of the biggest influences on all of human decision making: the ego. Think about the adjectives commonly attached to describe the word "ego." They are almost never positive. You have things like "big ego", "fragile ego", "inflated ego", "bruised ego" and the currently trending (and most unpopular) "male ego." I challenge you to find a descriptor that paints it in a positive light. Eggos...sure you can come up with a plethora of good adjectives. But not egos.So why all of the ego hate (especially seeing that none of us are impervious to being seduced by our own ego from time to time)? It's generally because when we think about the ego, it is when someone does not seem to have it in check. Maybe we show our disdain as a response because we are passing judgement on the other person's inability to control their ego -- much like we might do when we see a parent with a misbehaving child in a grocery store aisle. Add to this the element of someone being in a position of power, and the judgement is magnified.To a certain extent, all leaders are prone to being ego driven. It's the nature of the position. But the most effective leaders -- the ones we like to follow -- are the ones who can not only influence others, but can master themselves and their feelings in such a way that their ego does not play too large a part in how they regularly operate. They have an understanding, and in some ways, an inner peace, that what is going on around them is not all about them. They embrace that they are merely playing a part in something bigger, and use their influence not to first protect themselves, but to actually allow themselves to be vulnerable in order to benefit everyone else. Next to authenticity, I'm learning that vulnerability (which should not confused with weakness) may be a trait that people value most in strong leaders.My thoughts on all of this happened to intersect with my reading of one of the more interesting articles I shared this week about what makes a great leader. It's a fairly quick read and I strongly suggest checking it out. If you are interested, I also suggest taking this quick survey (which is also embedded in the article) to learn where you are on the open mindedness and intellectual humility spectrum. I think you may find the results insightful. It seems that the keys to intellectual humility lie not in our ability to hold tight and protect our egos, but to let them go -- hence the title of this week's newsletter.Lots of other great stuff to check out here, including another new music selection for you to add to your Spotify playlist. Have a great weekend -- and a great Father's Day to all of the Dads. And, by the way, this week marks the official start of summer....and the return of shorter days...Winter is coming....XOXODave