Being candid can be great, but keeping it real can definitely go wrong....Received an email this week from a former colleague who had just attended an executive off site workshop where they talked about the book "Radical Candor." The comment I got was "I thought you would appreciate this..."If you know me well, you might be laughing right now. Some of you, particularly those that have been on the receiving end at one point, might even think my Starbucks drink order name is Radical Candor. I like to rationalize my direct approach approach with people by saying that I am "efficient with my words" and therefore I call things as I see them. So I was both fascinated that someone would write a book about this topic and I was really pissed that it wasn't me...I'm wasting my time writing these newsletters while all this time I could be making some money off of my innate ability to just keep it real....The fact is people who exercise radical candor generally do so because they care. You certainly cannot accuse them of being passive aggressive. They are usually problem solvers and just want things to be better. They feel a need to provide direct feedback or constructive criticism, even when they are not asked, not because they want to hurt someone's feelings or make themselves feel important, but because they genuinely do not want a person or team to fail. They do so because that is how they would want to be treated themselves. There can be a lot of benefits to radical candor in organizations, especially with regards to communication, accountability, and maintaining a certain level of authenticity.But, as I have also learned the hard way over the years, keeping it real can definitely go wrong (google "Dave Chappelle Keeping It Real" if you want some humorous, NSFW skits on this). Not every situation calls for radical candor. Some people just can't handle another person's version of the "truth." Times when radical candor can backfire: during a job interview, when you are engaged in a consulting assignment with someone you do not know that well, when your teenaged daughter dyes her hair green, when your spouse is getting ready to go to a concert, or when you go to your in-laws for Thanksgiving and your mother in-law is not the best cook.....not that I have experienced any of these situations myself......Sometimes being efficient with one's words benefits the person trying to give the direct advice more than the person receiving it. Satisfying one's need to help or "fix" can actually be more self serving than helping. That's where recognizing this and exercising empathy has to come a bit more into play. I can say that I think about empathy a lot more now than I did when I was younger, and it has helped me tone down the radicalness of my candor just a bit.So the point of all of this? If you are one of those that are radically candid, you now know that you can actually get paid to teach other people how to be that way. And if radical candor does not come naturally to you or your organization, you now know NOT to call in some random person who wrote a book to run a workshop about it. You can call me -- my rates are cheaper....Have a great weekend everyone. Wishing safe travels to you and your families over the Thanksgiving holiday. You can look forward to a light version of the newsletter next week as we all nurse our food comas....XOXODave