How codifying a set of values can create harmony for a group, even a family.This past summer was interesting in our house: for the first time we had two adult aged children, a teenager, and a rising, impressionable 3rd grader all under one roof.Let's just say that, after a few days of relative zen, this mix quickly devolved into a perfect storm of emotion, petty arguing, back talk, whining, tantrums, immaturity and obnoxiousness. And that was just the two oldest kids.....In order to try to restore some harmony in our house, my wife and I decided we needed to take some extraordinary steps. We were a little concerned that the residual effect of some of the obnoxious behavior of the older ones would end up influencing the younger one. So we called a house meeting.Dipping into the executive team building bag of tricks, we decided that, collectively, we should agree upon a written set of family values and rules to ensure a peaceful existence for all.What initially seemed like it would be like pulling teeth turned into a surprisingly productive discussion. There was active participation and contribution by all. We talked about the behaviors each family member appreciated from one another, the things they didn't like, and what everyone felt was important to keep the peace.After a few iterations, here's essentially what the group decided (with some subtle parental guidance) under the header "Everyone in this house pledges to":-- Keep things simple.-- Take accountability for their own actions.-- Show empathy, love and gratitude towards one another often.And we finished it with "By doing so we strive to":-- Set a positive example for ourselves and others.-- Foster a kind, healthy, nurturing and respectful environment.-- Maintain tranquil, calm and harmonious communication in our home.That's it. And then we had each member of the family sign it -- asserting that they were onboard with what was discussed and supporting the spirit of the document. The finished, signed document was put on the wall in the kitchen.Later we separately indicated to the oldest kids the importance of sticking to the ideals and maintaining decorum for the benefit of their youngest sibling as well.Overall, we know our kids are good kids. And this may have seemed a bit over the top and unnecessary, but it had an immediate impact on the state of relations in our house. The bickering largely subsided, and suddenly there were a lot more "thank you's" and a lot less eye rolling.And after 6 months, I am happy to report continued positive returns from the values exercise. The discussion and document is referenced as a reminder regularly by both kids and parents alike (as needed) and has continued to be a positive and lasting addition to the family structure. Most importantly: each person has a sense of ownership over what we created together.The point: agreeing upon and writing down a set of ideals, principles and values can have a transformative effect on any group or organization -- particularly if there is authentic (not forced) buy in amongst the primary stakeholders. While they may not be perfect, self driving or rigid, codifying a set of values does create a structure and purpose that guides everyone, across all activities, towards desired outcomes. So if your group or organization seems a bit disjointed or in a rut -- call your own "family meeting". Get a piece of paper or a whiteboard, and put together your own set of simple, concise, guiding principles. Get buy in and finalize them. And then post them as a reminder (on your walls and websites). If you take some time and put some thought into it, I guarantee you will see a quick return on your investment.What do you think? Drop me a line with thoughts, questions or your own experiences doing this exercise. Also check out the selections below -- all winners.....even if they don't smell like a pair of crispy chicken flavored garden clogs....XOXODave