That's my credo, you know what I'm sayin'?Earlier this week I was sitting on the couch with my 7 year old son when I could sense that he was deep in thought. When I asked him what was up, he pointed to an area on my leg just above my knee (I was wearing shorts) and asked me "Dad, what is that on your leg? Is that...is that...a scar?"Sure enough, it was a nearly invisible, half inch scar from an injury I had gotten when I was about 11 or 12. I had been on my knees cutting an appliance box with a box cutter (in order to make some sort of fort or something), was being careless and accidentally sliced myself. Luckily it did not require any stitches, but I remember being pretty freaked out by the whole thing at the time.I told him an abridged, kid friendly version of how I got it, and proceeded to point out a bunch of other injuries I had received over time (a lot of them came from ages 5 to 12) and more kid friendly stories that went along with them. He listened to the details of each and cringed or laughed when I got to the punchlines. "Wow, you have a lot of scars, Dad. I hope I don't have that many scars when I am as old as you," he said in both the concerned and loving way that a boy his age can say things.When I thought about it, he was right. I do have a lot of scars. Some have faded and some are still visible, but they each have a story. And each was a result of either a mistake I had made, a misjudgment of some sort, or through some fateful accident that was out of my control. Luckily for me, the majority of my scars are neither too deep nor traumatic -- I rebounded from each experience maybe a little sore or a little bloody (and with a whole lot of stitches) but intact nonetheless.Perhaps influenced by this, I'm a big believer that the majority of our life experiences, regardless of how they turn out, are not bad ones. As mentioned in the Farnam Street blog post in the first section below, sometimes you can seemingly do everything right and still receive a less than favorable outcome. These experiences can sting or leave you sore for a while afterwards. Conversely, you can have a bad process and through just dumb luck you achieve a great result. It might feel like a nice win at the time, but that does not mean it will necessarily be repeated.I guess what ultimately makes any experience good or bad is not determined by the result but what we learned from what got us to the outcome. In the long run, understanding when we made a mistake, just got lucky, or were a victim of fate is usually more important than how it turned out. And like our scars, the stories behind our experiences (particularly those that did not turn out the way we wanted or expected) can each provide us with the opportunity to reflect and either keep doing what we are doing, correct our course or help influence the course of others so they don't make the same mistakes. That's why I like to think that most experiences can end up being a good experience if we really want them to be. So no ragrets....I mean, no regrets. Not even a single letter...With that, I hope you don't regret reading this week's selections. And here's wishing you and your families a great 4th of July week, where ever it takes you.XOXODave
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Friends of Dave #79: No Ragrets
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That's my credo, you know what I'm sayin'?Earlier this week I was sitting on the couch with my 7 year old son when I could sense that he was deep in thought. When I asked him what was up, he pointed to an area on my leg just above my knee (I was wearing shorts) and asked me "Dad, what is that on your leg? Is that...is that...a scar?"Sure enough, it was a nearly invisible, half inch scar from an injury I had gotten when I was about 11 or 12. I had been on my knees cutting an appliance box with a box cutter (in order to make some sort of fort or something), was being careless and accidentally sliced myself. Luckily it did not require any stitches, but I remember being pretty freaked out by the whole thing at the time.I told him an abridged, kid friendly version of how I got it, and proceeded to point out a bunch of other injuries I had received over time (a lot of them came from ages 5 to 12) and more kid friendly stories that went along with them. He listened to the details of each and cringed or laughed when I got to the punchlines. "Wow, you have a lot of scars, Dad. I hope I don't have that many scars when I am as old as you," he said in both the concerned and loving way that a boy his age can say things.When I thought about it, he was right. I do have a lot of scars. Some have faded and some are still visible, but they each have a story. And each was a result of either a mistake I had made, a misjudgment of some sort, or through some fateful accident that was out of my control. Luckily for me, the majority of my scars are neither too deep nor traumatic -- I rebounded from each experience maybe a little sore or a little bloody (and with a whole lot of stitches) but intact nonetheless.Perhaps influenced by this, I'm a big believer that the majority of our life experiences, regardless of how they turn out, are not bad ones. As mentioned in the Farnam Street blog post in the first section below, sometimes you can seemingly do everything right and still receive a less than favorable outcome. These experiences can sting or leave you sore for a while afterwards. Conversely, you can have a bad process and through just dumb luck you achieve a great result. It might feel like a nice win at the time, but that does not mean it will necessarily be repeated.I guess what ultimately makes any experience good or bad is not determined by the result but what we learned from what got us to the outcome. In the long run, understanding when we made a mistake, just got lucky, or were a victim of fate is usually more important than how it turned out. And like our scars, the stories behind our experiences (particularly those that did not turn out the way we wanted or expected) can each provide us with the opportunity to reflect and either keep doing what we are doing, correct our course or help influence the course of others so they don't make the same mistakes. That's why I like to think that most experiences can end up being a good experience if we really want them to be. So no ragrets....I mean, no regrets. Not even a single letter...With that, I hope you don't regret reading this week's selections. And here's wishing you and your families a great 4th of July week, where ever it takes you.XOXODave